Doctors and their lack of empathy

Hi @Former-Member, doctors can be really hard to deal with sometimes. In some ways, I suppose you could say they are 'experts', but I think an important thing to remember that you are also an expert, in 'you'. You know you better than anybody else. It's understandable the experiences you've had have led to the disempowered and frustrated feelings it sounds you might be experiencing though, and I'm sorry. I really want to encourage you to reach out for some extra support as it sounds like you might be struggling a fair bit right now- there's Lifeline (13 11 14), Suicide Callback Service (1300 659 467) or Sane's Helpcentre (1800 187263) is also open until 10pm this evening if you'd just like to speak to someone non urgently. Please take good care of yourself and I hope things improve for you very soon. 🌹

Thank you for your thoughts and wise words.I have thinking whether I wish to keep living in pain for quite a while now and really if my pain cannot be bought under control there really isn't much point existing to live in pain is there.I just sit home and can't get out due to the medical condition and when in pain for so long you become not so great company for most people to come and see you.

So I think I will just need to sit back and make my decision in a timeframe that suits me .

As I said there is not much point in living in pain

I can understand wanting that pain to go away @Former-Member, especially when it's a constant experience you don't get a lot of relief from. I'm wondering if there's anything that's helped manage your pain so far?

I've tried everything from pain killers to yoga and back again.that why i agreed to the last round of surgeries it was supposed to help but has only made it worse.

I was hopefull this new surgeon would help and he promised the world and when it didn't work he took a step away from me and wasn't helpful at all.

Now he says I need another surgery for back and another for the hip damage they did on the last round .

Then it will be another 6 months re hab and if it doesn't work I'm still in the same boat just another wasted half year of unnecessary pain and suffering.

I just don't think I can do it all over again.

Sorry to hear your story.

@Former-Member

Sadly I have heard similar from others.

Personally, I was warned by a Gp to stay away from people who might want to do surgery on my back and neck ... hmmm. It is hard managing pain healthily. I have done all the physical type things and still at it. Also music often helps .... you probably already have lots of your own distractions ...

Take Care

I was also warned by people not to have back surgery.unfortunately I lost the use of my left leg and had no choice .

The first surgery was botched by an orthopeadfic surgeon that made it worse and then I found a wonderful neuro surgeon that told me how it was and that he could rectify what had been done but not totally fix me.He fulfilled his promise and life was okay for a few years but then it was surgery or a wheel chair and loss of use of both limbs.

So I really didn't have much choice.Although I'm stuck in bed or on the lounge in pain maybe the chair was the better option in hindsight.

I love music all types not a great fan of country .

Thank you for just being there and your input

HI Kayakfisho,

I was born with a lower back condition and the pain kicked in around 16 years old. Pain steadily increased until at age 40 when I had a lower back fusion. I am one of the lucky ones, my surgery was sucessful but I live in pain most days. Doctors, however cannot repair the nerve damage. But I can walk and fuction with the help of daily buprenorphine medications(Buvidal depot injections). Im 58 now and need a double knee replacement after a 30+ year career in the building industry. They do not tell apprentice trades people that many of us will begin to experience pain and injury if you are still on the tools post 40 years.

Back to the point: Doctors today are only interested in injury and or disease. If and when we begin to experience chronic pain, depression, fatigue and personal suffering they will quickly lose interest in us, as you have found out.

Do you have a pain control specialist? Same for a health care team?

Also we are in a culture period(at least in my state) where the medical community wants all their patients off of addictive drugs, meaning benzo's, opiates etc. They have a point, however there are instances such as yours, mine and many others I feel where your pain is so severe, chronic and disabling you are openly thinking and speaking about suicide. Do you have family, friends and or a support network?

This is just a quick note: But there are many medications out there that in the proper combinations and doses your pain might be lessened to the poiint where your outlook on life might at least improve. That said, I do not not to presume, judge and or know about your situation.

I will live on opioids until I die. They work for my needs. The medical community be damed, they do not know me.

I am judged, discriminated against and stigmatised for my drug use. But, given my conditions I live a full life, as best as I can, plus I am a Carer for my partner and I have to be able to function, wash clothes, cook, clean, do the shopping, chop firewood + other chores.

Surgeons are not trained to treat chronic the chronic suffering that comes from botched surgeries. You are in a tough spot. Your resilence is to be admired.

End Note: If and when a nurse, Doctor or other says 'Why dont you try Yoga', I want to ram a boot down their throats....

Hang in there and know you are not alone. I will be thinking of you today.

Regards,

Thanks, Mate

everything you say is true .i take a concoction of medicines that doctors say I'm maxed out on. a mix of opiates and antidepressants to try and control nerve pain. and they do lower the pain but some days like last night they don't seem to do anything.

I'm seeing the surgeon tomorrow but I don't hold much hope. He will want to fuse another part of my spine which will make it from S1 to L1 fused.

then there is the stuff they don't tell you. Have you tried to put on a pair of shoes and tie laces when your back is fused, You Cant!

This is what frustrates the hell out of me they don't tell you how crap it's going to be after the surgery.

yeah, I had a pain specialist but all they say is your maxed out on what we can give you and they want to install a spine stimulator. I'm definitely not having one fitted as I've spoken to people that have them and they cause more grief than benefit.

Anyway, after tomorrow I will sit back and weigh up all my options and then try and make a decision on my future, As it stands I no longer want to be here and if it's not possible to improve the situation it will make my decision a lot easier

@Former-Member

Good Luck with appointment today.

The specialisation and siloisation of knowledge is part of the problem. Sadly surgeions are focussed on cut ting and sewing ... and seem to lack the ability for much feedback. If they did not sport such lifestyles I would be less dusgusted. For a lot of reasons I cannot do opiates and do not really have much faith in them as long term on or off prescription. SO its been all the movement therapies and music for me. Ha ha ... I also sang next to a lady who had the kni fe slip during a brain tumour op. To be too gung ho about the professionalism of the medical industry ... now seems a little naive even delusional to me.

Know what @Leon58 means about the insulting suggestions. As if we had not already gone down those paths ... Showed an Indian cleaner my old yoga books from the early 80s. She thought she could insult me in my own home, and say nobody in Australia should be on disabilty. She did not realise I knew more about her culture's famous exercises than she did. She was gungho with her MBA and making money off us. She only knew about yoga by osmosis! Never really followed it. Talk about reverse racism. Thats said, I have a good Indian physio atm, so I try and take each person for who they are. But it grates a lot when still having to manage pain.

I also had a student who was a yoga teacher for about 5 years ... and shared a lot with her ...so also know the limitations ...Give me a rest.

I often ask to be taken from this world ... but while I am still here ... I make the most of it ... by trying to have a voice, be some use, and advocate sensibly (IMHO) on this forum.

Take Care ALL

Thanks, apple blossom .the thing with them is they seem to have no idea that what they say and do can have catastrophic repercussions, and yet there is no way to hold them accountable. I think apart from politicians there is no more a profession that is protected from being held accountable for their actions.

i really am so aggravated by them now i hate even going into their rooms.

Anyway i will let you know how it all goes and what the next round of broken promises will be

Thanks again to you all for allowing me to vent and your support.