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Recovery Club

I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Last night I went out against my initial instinct not to. I figured I needed some social atmosphere after a dull day at work. My work is dull and there is only one place I can work at out of a possible 6 places that I actually feel accepted and appreciated - but they have me doing such meaningless work. This is all down to the fact that the workplace is boring and the work is itself boring as well. There is so much politics in the workplace because of this - more than the average workplace.

I already know that I am the subject of rumours and gossip due to a mistake I made once about mid way through last year. I accidently tagged someone in an email chain at another work station and they saw what I had written. This person has then gone on to tell others and I believe this is why I look like a fool to them and its why they have started to treat me differently in many places.

I didn't say anything bad about people and I didn't say anything horrible. I just said that they didn't train people there at that workstation and that people did not like there generally.

I will be returning to that workstation on monday and tuesday next week and I am REALLY REALLY dreading it. They tell secrets, they gossip, they play games they do all sorts of rubbish there. I will be treated like scum and I am not looking forward to it one bit.

Last night I was out and I felt bad and then good and then normal. It was very mixed. I don't have social media aside from facebook which I don't use often enough at all. I am not into that stuff even though I probably should be and could probably benefit from the interaction - but its all so fake.

Today I have spent a long time doing basic tasks for my internship because I want to make a good impression and FINALLY LEAVE MY CURRENT JOB to do something new with this company. It is relevant to my area of study and I can see myself doing it. I think I will take a huge downward turn if I don't get something out of this role. My attention is so strained by the thought of going to this place next week that I don't know how to find my way through this bad time.

I feel isolated and hated by people and I don't deserve to feel that way.

There is so much fake stuff in the world and I have had enough of it, but I don't know what to replace it with.

I feel empty and lost and I am really just done with pop psychology and BS self esteem movements that just say I need accept myself and love myself. That's not possible when I am in a bad place and surrounded by bad stuff. It's like saying "snap out of it" to someone who is depressed.

I feel like my social skills have taken a huge leap forward but then a giant leap backwards in the past 2 years. Back to where they were long ago.

I am tired. Really tired. Depressed and sad. Lonely and exhausted.

1319 replies

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In response to: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

@MDT Nope no idea what that is, educate me.

Perhaps you two have different views on what relationships with women should look like.

But I also know it's a sore spot for you re wanting a relationship but feeling like you're not wanted by anyone etc etc. Is there a chance he was trying to help by saying you've got things going for you? As in you've got every reason for ladies to come flocking to ya? Cause I feel like ladies should be lining up to hang with ya just based on what I know of you from here 👍

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Incel

@saltandpepper

Its basically an online subculture. It's filled with resent and bitterness.

Potentially he was trying to help yeah - but I think he is too far gone into that internet subculture. It's like a fundamentalist cult that tries to explain EVERYTHING in life in a neat package.

I have done some soul searching recently and I think I don't want a relationship yet. I'm not ready. What I think I'm feeling is pressure and feeling like I am weird for this desire not to have a relationship.

But at the same time it's silly to close your mind off entirely to the prospect of a relationship. I mean such things are organic.

Anyways. I take what you said on board re: they should be flocking to me. I think in this day and age it's not the case - you gotta be active on all sorts of social media and things like that which I find damaging.

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Well I mean people that aren't having sex but want it, yeah they gonna get frustrated @MDT haha not sure it needs a culture built around it but yeah, think that's just biology

I don't know hams. I'm not big on social media shit either. Back in the day before being married, I was very socially awkward, shy, not at all comfortable talking to strangers. Fast forward to present day where I'm getting divorced and no longer give a fu*k about shit like that, I've found it to be a different experience meeting people. Not just women but everyone really. Without sounding up myself (because I'm certainly no prize) I've had this influx of interest and I think it's all come down to my change in attitude when going out and socialising. I'm certainly not going out looking for anything, but it's just kind of happening, like everywhere I go. It's different. I'm going to reiterate the you gotta find a way to dull that overactive mind of yours. Zero effort, zero thinking, just drink and go out with some mates. Go up to people and talk, you don't have to approach people with the thought they could potentially become a gf or anything. Just go out and make some new drunk friends. You don't have to change who you are or what you believe in, just give yourself a night off and cut loose hey?

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

I agree with what you say about stop giving a sh*t coz that's exactly what's worked for me in so many aspects of life. And yeah I actually think that is where I started to get things right

I like your attitude. But I fear it's in the minority on my own generation.

And yeah that's exactly what incel is. But its a creepy phenomenon. I really sympathise with it. But I can't say I agree with what they do and say. I mean these are guys who have never been on a date, never been kissed never had a friendly relationship with a women. It's just a hive mindset of self pity and bitterness and it captures the minds of a lot of young men. It's a tragedy.

I don't believe in any of it. I don't think sex is owed to anyone. It's also unhealthy to have a society so obsessed with it too.

The more I actually reflect on the whole thing, the more I'm happy with my choices. It means I'm in control and I get to make choices when I want to. Not because I was forced. I remember a number of years ago a friend tried to set me up with a girl and I wasn't interested. The reason was because he would be playing g behind the scenes constantly texting me and her and also telling out other friend. Its just so frikin juvenile it's not funny.

My experiences aren't the things that define me. Its just experiences. Some are good and some are bad.

The light atthe end of the tunnel is that I haven't once done anything i didn't want to do. It was self initiated

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Well come join me in the minority pool @MDT its not a bad place to be.

Ah, well, sounds like a group of people I'd enjoy headbutting tbh hams. But I'm sure that not having sex would fu*k with ya brain so maybe that's why they're so cuckoo. Also doesn't sound like an environment that's going to encourage healthy relationships with women--or anyone for that matter. Probs steer clear of all that shit. Sounds bordering on rape culture kind of shit to me. But I also have never heard of it before today so maybe I'm not understanding it properly.

Yeah being comfortable is good, but it's also good to push outside the comfort zone too hams. I think people tend to regret the stuff they don't do rather than what they do do. Nothing worth having comes easily.

But yeah, mindset my friend. Switch off and just get out for a good night, maybe not with your mates that are into that cult thing there though. Less worrying, less thinking, less stress about appearance, just get out as you are. Its working for me 🤙

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

https://youtu.be/DmKowhBYZ1s
This is @saltandpepper tho @MDT lol

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Lol @TAB pretty much, except without the talent or good looks and he didn't call anyone a c***

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

@TAB Mental health issues probably on par though tab haha

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Ah okay @saltandpepper lol

In response to: Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Re: I don't know anymore and I need a break from it all

Thats in the other video @saltandpepper lol
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