Generally struggling and I'd appreciate some input

So for the first time ever I've actually sought help when I needed it, now I'm on medication, seeing a psychologist and my GP regularly.
This all started to deal a suicide plan that got very serious very quickly, after a previous attempt I knew I wasn't far off following through, so in a more level headed moment I got the ball rolling with the GP. That got me back from the edge pretty quickly, but a couple of months later I seem to be having more suicidal thoughts than before and when I'm not it's the urge to hurt myself, which I have resisted so far. I'm not making any serious plans either, but I just can't stop thinking about it.
I think I'm just feeling a bit trapped, I know I shouldn't see suicide or self harm as viable options, but I feel like I've taken them away and I just don't know how to deal with that.
I'm not used to talking to anyone about these sorts of things, so I tend to forget to bring stuff up, I definitely don't lead the conversation so things probably don't go in the most useful direction sometimes. Maybe it's that the psychologist isn't the best fit for me, but I want to give it enough sessions to be sure, I assume jumping from one to the next because there aren't instant results isn't going to help things.
But I'd say in general I'm feeling better, but I could also see myself struggling a lot more if I didn't have so much in place to get things sorted out.

I probably don't have the communication skills I need to know what's wrong or what I'm really trying to achieve, I almost feel like I'm mourning the loss of my suicide plan, I miss having that emergency exit even if I don't try and use it. I just want to be done with all of this. I feel like I've made a fuss about nothing, I mean, I haven't actually done anything, maybe I can just carry on like nothing was wrong and everything will be fine, maybe I'm struggling because I'm making myself do difficult things.

Just typing a bit here at least helps me get an idea of what I should be discussing in my next session. Thanks for taking the time to read this.