Topic Tuesday // Breaking The Cycle: Addiction, Alcohol and Drugs // Tues 27th April, 7:00-8:30PM AEST

Hi Merry

I am mum like yourself and I feel pretty bad after I read what you wrote as I do help my son out however since I have always been by his side and never left no matter what even helping him buy food when he spends all of his money. This has now ceased and he no longer spends all of his money on drugs in fact he now saves money which I happy about. But he still smokes ( cut right down ), I have thoughts of doing the tough love bit but I couldnt bring myself to do it, so when he was smoking heavy I would make sure there was food in the cubboards and fridge. Thank fully it is working out and Ive managed to cut down heaps on what I used to do for him but I think love solves most things and he only has me everyone else turned away. Hence why I stayed and I think love and sticking by your family member shows them your in it for the tough and the easy but thats me not saying its right just thats what I have done TIME

It would be case by case but for our son's case, he is always on something whether it is alcohol, cannabis or gaming, whatever that gives him an instant release.

Thank you Calvin for such an insightful response, I think you have summed the situation up perfectly. My husband's psychologist made the comment that he thinks our son is "unhappily comfortable" living with us so we are attempting to get a more independent living situation for him. He seems to want this but is quite removed from the whole process. I think back to a time many years ago when my sister, who was diagnosed with schizophrenia, but was supported in a group living situation by what was then known as The Richmond Fellowship. They were fantastic. She could not have lived by herself and we fear that our son will really struggle by himself but it seems worth the risk given the current impasse. Do you think we are doing the right thing?

Sure do, people use substances for an array of reasons, escapism , confidence or because they simple deserve a drink to be happy. escapism is an unhealthy way to process your emotions and not face them lack of confidence is anxiety and well where to you draw the line at deserving to be happy?

As @Daisydreamer & @TAB highlighted earlier on in the discussion, @Time, each person's journey is unique, and so too are the things that work for each individual, however tough it may feel. I'm glad to hear it sounds you were able to find a way that works well for you and your son.

.. For anyone who remembers answering machines (think this was around 20 years ago) I accidently recorded myself for like 20 mins of pretty heavy inebriation

If people could see what they were doing it might have affect what they do ? Just a thought. Getting a bit tired here. Going to bail out Thanks @Hello3 @Daisydreamer @Time @Bunniekins @Shaz51

Such a good question @Bunniekins, this is something we hear from lots of people recovering from alcoholism. The way my loved one described to me is that there isn't a day that goes by that the cravings aren't there, but he gets better at managing and using coping mechanisms to go through those moments. For his recovery, he acknowledges they might still come and go (although he gets frustrated when stress escalates the cravings, understandably) and uses distraction to try and get through those moments.

Do you find that they come and go or are the cravings more constant? When they do come up, what helps you get through those moments?

@TABs See ya TABs talk tomorrow. Take care. xx

Thank you so much for joining us tonight @TAB and for sharing your experiences and contributions- I could see so many responses to your posts with many others who really related. I hope you were able to take something from this discussion