Feel like I let people down

Hey Lonelyman23

I hear ya.

I always am worrying about others. Not so much what they think these days, but more about whether i am good enough to be their friend, neice, client, daughter.
I just feel like i cant do anything right and im not good enough.
I went to uni and passed everything, had a great job and all went down the drain because of my depression. I cant hold down a job let alone look for one in my current state and i am constantly worrying im not good enough. Other people are doing so much more and have so much more at 30 years old.. what the hell am i doing..

I feel lonely, trapped, agitated, sad, confused, anxious and depressed, not to mention constant pit in my stomach which makes me feel like i am such a burden on people and they just think im a failure.

I feel your pain

From one person in a similiar situation to another..try and hang in there. Some days are better than others. It gives you that glimpse of hope... just enough to give you the energy to push forward and give you energy for the next cycle.

Im here for you

Sadshark
Just read your post to Lonelyman.What you said is what I feel about me.It was like I described myself.As stated I worked 5.5 hours cleaning yesterday,but I am not putting any pressure on myself.I cannot because of what I have been through ,the fact I cannot handle any pressure,my suicidal and negative thoughts of myself,and plainly through what I have been through learnt nothing is worth it.I am 44 and let life get to me.You are only 30,you have plenty of time like Lonelyman.I have to avoid people because I'm afraid they will ask questions which due to what I feel and what I've been through ,my privacy I highly value.I also feel so ashamed of myself.The stigma of mental illness sucks.I had a neighbor once who told me on the phone to "suck it up!" ,whilst I was having a reaction to antidepressants with muscle spasms,facial ticks,agitation,vocalising syllables.At times I have wished I had cancer to justify my time off work and having to live off centreline and getting medical certificates because I can't handle the pressure.And you are always trying to understand "what the hell happened to me?"after being one who was known for never taking a day off work and having the money to pay bills and buy nice clothes etc.Your advice to Lonelyman is right.When you feel like this take one day at a time.The isolation of mental health can be one major obstacle to overcome.The only positive thing is in some ways I am a better person through this experience in I am less judgemental and have more empathy.However going to work is like Darwin's Theory of Evolution.Its the survival of the fittest.The girl I worked with yesterday was nice who trained me,but mentioned another worker which will go and tell on you if you don't do the job well.I have dealt with these absolute "bitches" before and I know they are everywhere.Dealing with these sorts of people contributed to me leaving the workplace 4 years ago, not being able to get out of bed.I have not got the energy for these pathetic people and don't want to be part of a workplace if that goes on.Cannot handle it.All we can do is take one day at a time.

@SadShark..
I know exactly what you mean. I have the same issues but joining this site and talking to all of you guys has Been the best thing for me aswell as the hardest thing,
The hardest thing in life is just to open up to people and tell them what's going on.. But I know now that people just want to help. You have to take the first step.. Crawl before you can walk,

I had a bad night last night. Just broke down and cried everything just seemed to hit me at once but today I'm a better person. I woke up so its a good day.
My friend said this to me last night it's very true

Sometimes we need to fall to truly see who is there to pick us up..