Feel like I let people down

Lonelyman,

You sound like a beautiful sensitive person.I am 44 years of age the youngest of three girls who lived in the shadows of a attractive elder sister who could do no wrong and another sister who would use the crap out of everyone around her.My father died when I was 19 and as I was left at home with my mother I put everything before me .I ended up 4 years ago burning out,left work which I never missed a day suffered bad depression and anxiety and severe suicidal thoughts with not one thing going well for me.I have finally got employment tomorrow after four years which I am shit scared of failing because I feel whatever I do is a disaster.I ended up at forty regretting my life,living it for everyone but me,letting people put me down defining who I was.I never had kids because I never met anyone ,have a mother who I love but is self centred and suffocated me.I want you to think long and hard where you want to go in life because you are blessed with youth on your side.Make time for you as self care is important.Make a plan for you,get help,help others if it makes you feel good but don't measure yourself by your brother's "success"or others comments.Good luck.

Hi @Lonelyman23

Hello I don't we have spoken before and I just wanted say its nice to meet you.

First off you are still really young and you have your whole life ahead of you. I remember being your age and I will try to give you the advice I wish someone gave me at that age. I would say just focus on what you are good at and follow your passion. But the most important thing really is your health and happiness so do whatever makes you happy.

But also its important for you to get treatment for your depression and not sure what things you have looked into for getting yourself some help. What do you think might help you with this? How are you managing day to day? What are some of your short term and long term goals? What do you like to do for fun?

I think what I would have liked to happen for me would be to have more traction in my life and you may want to think about that as well. And also what you value the most and to build life around what is most important to you and steps you can take to have the life you want. Just remember you are just as important as anyone else and I think its also important surround yourself with people that appeciate you and also supports you. Hope this helps a little.

Hi Lonelyman

Thanks for wishing me luck.I wish I was successful too.Going by your reply you have good insight into your problem,you need to change your thinking like we all need to.It is obvious that helping people is one of your attributes but find a balance for your own well-being.Its important especially when you feeling a bit overwhelmed or going through a rough patch.

I guess I'm just advising you to do what you can to keep yourself safe so you continue on through life and be who you strive you be.There comes a time in life when you have to put yourself first and if feelings of guilt etc occur it can build up like a volcano erupting over time.The fact that your heading is "Feel like I let people down" says enough.You are your own worst enemy(should take my own advice too!lol as I am working about being good enough tomorrow!)

I am glad to hear you are okay day to day. I think in some ways you being way too hard on yourself and hopefully in time you will be able to see what an amazing person you really are and you are not a failure.

And everyones as their ups and downs in life but its when it starts to affect your ability to function and then it becomes more serious (major depression).

I think exercise is great to clear your head and also to help manage your mood too. I think you need to find a purpose and the best way to build confidence is through action.