Am I good enough

Hi @Notagain, I think we've all been there. Wondering about our purpose and value. The main thing I learned from my time doing this was to screen out the opinions and expectations of others. To be honest they were mostly projections from me anyway! But once I tuned everyone else out I was able to work out what was important to me. And then what I was able to do about that. Where my interests and skills lay.

If we tackle it from the other way round we end up just where you describe - tired and feeling like a failure. A cat chasing its tail.

So can you try to tune others out? Work out what you want? What you might be able to do?

For me, the ultimate goal is happiness. It's not about being amazing at anything. Impressing anyone. Cruising through the middle - contributing but not to my own detriment - creates more happiness to me.

Hard won lessons though!

@Notagain. I don't know what my so called true purpose is. If I knew - I would do it.
I too have placed too many expectations and judgements on myself. It doesn't help. Just makes the depression worse.
As for what gift I have - does being able to talk a mile a minute or under water count?
When we are depressed - our brains do not allow us to see any positives. That's why I find counseling so helpful to me.
Do you have a therapist you talk to? It may help.
For now, try to be gentle on yourself. Try not to overdo things. One step at a time. One breath at a time.