Hi @chibam Thank you for sharing your perspective on this subject matter, it's important we see a variety of sides to these sorts of discussions.
With respect,and trying the best I can to be clear, concise and 'practical' (I can't htink of the word I really want - I have brain damage that among other things affects my abilty to find words) I'd like to offer my view on the discussion happening in this thread, hopefully without causing upset or disturbance for anyone. It is, after all, only my view.
Are people saying (or at least playing with the idea) that they like feeling bad?
I guess I can see how you could get that idea, and perhaps some people do feel that way.
My depression is chronic, long lasting and to add to that I have almost died from various reactions to medications, so it's not been an easy process to try to manage. It's compounded by CPTSD and chronic anxiety with some other health stuff thrown in for good measure.
Understanding all of that, for myself, I know there is no getting better for me, there is only managing the physical, mental and emotional damage that has been caused/happened to me. I know that this is so because I have tried so, so many things and gone to great lengths to 'get better', and the truth of my situation is that the damage is too ingrained for it to be changed, the only option is to manage. This applies to the physical damage done in childhood/ youth abuse that has affected me throughout life. Visible damage on x-rays and ultrasounds. It also applies to the impact damage to my brain function.
The emotional and mental damage of long term abuse is known to have long lasting effects, especially when not able to be treated early enough to have significant effect. We can try all sorts of modalities to find some better days, but they aren't a cure.
I am thankful for the better days when something has worked, I truly am, because I DO NOT like feeling bad. I have had to accept that I am going to feel bad, and that things are going to get worse as I age even further, my medical people have told me this is a fact of my life.
I also understand that different situations have different causes and some of those situations may well be able to be truly mended/ fixed/ cured.
Perhaps the wording in these posts have, for some people not been as clear as it could be, when we are stressed and trying to think things through, we often can't consider that others might see what we've said as offensive.
It's very difficult trying to keep in mind all the possible interpretations someone might make of words on a screen, and it makes for lengthy, tiring posts trying to cover all bases. (like mine can be)
IMO - Society is selfish, it needs to be needed and interacted with or it won't interact back. In many instances, one must play a certain game, fit in a certain societally accepted pigeon hole to be seen fit enough to get the attention one really needs. Overweight people experience this all the time, as do many with MH issues. There are more of course.
I don't engage with society anymore, I can't, I don't have the wherewithall to be what someone else wants me to be. I do sometimes hope for that to be a possibility and I do work toward being able to function well enough to get by, but I will never feel safe enough to be the life of the party so to speak, again.
Understanding these things is not necessarily accepting 'being miserable' either. It's recognising that there are degrees of managing whatever one's situation is.
If one can't get out of bed one day, then that's how it is. The next day they might complete every task for the month ahead, or not. One has to find one's own sense of what is okay in order to function with some degree of calm, of peace, of serenity, of acceptance.
Acceptance does not mean giving up.
Am I surrounded by people who think "it's fine to be miserable"; and by extension, who believe "it's fine to inflict misery upon others"? If that's the foundation of our society, a misery-based econemy, then...
While I understand this is how you've viewed this, at least for now, there doesn't necessarily need to be a correlation between the two. One who feels miserable does not usually inflict that misery on others unless there are other things going on healthwise. Miserable people usually do their absolute best to cover up that misery around people and only let the mask of happiness drop when they are alone and safe.
Having said all of that about this thread, I do think there are people who enjoy being miserable because they get something back out of that. I also think there are people who aren't necessarily miserable, but who enjoy inflicting misery on others for what ever reason. I don't understand it, I'm not one of those people, but I have known those types of people and have suffered at the hands of one or two of them. But that is not what this thread is about imo.
I do hope this maybe gives you a bit of a different outlook on the perspective others have, and thank you again for sharing yours here too. I'd be interested to hear more of your thoughts should you be willing to share them.
