Views on Depression

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@saltandpepper wrote:

I never view my depression as something I need to fix or correct. I need to accept it and manage it, not ignore it or make it go away when it rears its head. Most of the time I'm comfortable with my mental illness, it's part of me, you can't fight parts of you--that's insane. Or am I insane?

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As I understand it, yours is a much better way to approach it. I can't say I'm there yet though! You're definitely not insane, @saltandpepper .

@NatureLover Thanks for chiming in. I can't say it's the approach most people take. But maybe it should be? (I say this on the heels of a bit of a breakdown...) ha. But I think that's a big part of the problem. This concept that we must "get better" rather than manage. I don't know, it's probably different for everyone.

In my case, I've battled depression my entire life. Even as a kid. It's never not been there and I don't expect it to ever not be there. "Getting better" isn't achievable for me, and I'm sure I'm not the only one in this boat. I feel like it would be helpful--at least for me--to be given permission to be... the way I am.

@saltandpepper Believe me you dont sound insane at all,In fact your probly taking a better approach about your mental health than I am currently taking towards my mental health

Hi @saltandpepper

No you are not insane, in fact, experiences like depression and anxiety can be normal responses to the challenges life throws at us. To a degree ofcourse. If I lost someone I loved, I should expect prolonged periods of sadness and low mood, so to would I expect to feel anxious seeing a lion running towards me. So there is a sense in which not only do they exist, but they are a part of living a full life.
The problem is, when the intensity, frequency and duration of these experiences impact your capacity to function. To live, to explore the full gamut of experiences is a wonderful endeavour. But also painful. Being aware of depression for example, practising acceptance and learning how it effects you can be hugely benefical in coping and living. Not only because you can exert subtle control and reduce or minimise the intensity, frequency or duration. But also because in the light of understanding and acceptance you can fully engage with what is happening.

But it is perhaps an example of insanity itself, to pretend the world is other than it is.

So yeah, keeping learning, asking and growing with all that you are.

@saltandpepper @postman-404 @LostAngel @NatureLover

Hi saltandpepper

The way I understand it is that MH issues are addressed, clinically as a problem, when the impact of those issues on our lives becomes destructive or otherwise influences our lives in a significantly negative way. Under these circumstances, the problem extends beyond the scope of self-management.

The following extract from an article by the Harvard Health Publishing division of the Harvard Medical School gives a clear explanation.

Quote: “Depression is a word with many meanings — anything from a passing mood of sadness or discouragement to a condition of inconsolable misery, suicidal thoughts, and even delusions as well as severe physical symptoms. It's regarded as a clinical disorder when the depressed mood and related symptoms are serious enough or last long enough to interfere with work, social life, family life, or physical health.”

It is regarded as a clinical disorder when it affects our lives in a way that we can no longer “self-manage” the effects.

I certainly agree that while a depressive episode is at a level that we can self-manage, then, by all means, that is an admirable and appropriate course of action.

However, many people are in a situation where, without appropriate psychiatric and/or medical intervention, their lives may, indeed, become unmanageable.

These forums are, in effect, another resource people can access. If people are facing problems that can be addressed with the type of peer support that may be available through these forums, that support may be sufficient assistance. However, there are many people for whom peer support can be used as a 'third tier' intervention after psychological/psychiatric and medical assistance has been provided.

I believe, that if self-management of the issues, that many people on these forums face, were efficacious, then most would already have addressed those issues and their consequent effects.

Unfortunately, for many people, the issues to be addressed are so persistent and severe as to require additional support. In such circumstances, simply accepting, embracing and self-managing the problem is not sufficient to diminish the severe and adverse impacts on those peoples' lives.

Cheers,

HenryX

Hmm perhaps I've upset some people here with my big flapping mouth. I didn't intend to undermine the severity of anyones mental health.

I am personally well aware of the severity of depression, and perhaps I should clarify it is something I have been diagnosed with MDD and it's something that I too manage with frequent visits to the GP, medication, and ongoing therapy. Alot of therapy. Without those things, yes, @HenryX I absolutely would not be able to function as your article explains. And the state I reached of dysfunction required intervention. Without that help I would not be alive today.

What I was trying to say, with no intention at flustering anybody at all (and I apologise if that's what I've done, sincerely), is that my condition is something that will require ongoing treatment, as it has been for years now. There's not an end goal of living without depression or "getting on top of it". And the point I was trying to make is that if, when I am suffering through a depressive episode, the view point that I feel is impressed upon me is that it's bad to feel that way. And perhaps I'm wrong. I could very well be and this all only my opinion. But I don't want to feel like I'm wrong for wanting to stay in bed. I don't want to feel bad that the house is shit storm. I don't want to feel useless, incapable, pathetic because I can't shower or brush my teeth. My take on it-- the way that's helpful for me to see it--Is that I should accept and expect those days to come around and instead of punishing myself for it. Accept it. Accepting that I am a person living with depression, it is a part of me, it is not something I or anyone else can fix or erase from my being. It IS something I can manage, and something I do manage, evey hour, of every minute, of every day.

I just wanted to discuss a shift in perspective because feeling like we are wrong when we can't function is a big part of the problem for me. I certainly wasn't trying to advise people don't seek help, I would never advise that, I would never dismiss someones who is struggling with depression.

@HenryX @postman-404 @LostAngel @NatureLover

I take a bow and applaude you, Thank You, makes complete sense and I totally agree 100%.

I am sick of talk about when your better, once your counsellling is done, when your fixed, once this is over etc etc etc, I have Complex PTSD, this is not going to just go away, or be fixed so I have the same attitude as you, it is a part of me and I am learning to accept it and manage it and just roll with it, I believe it just adds another dimension to the person I am becoming.

There is something liberating about losing your shit completely, having a huge meltdown and emerging on the other side, for me its like a ctrl alt del, kinda reboots me, refreshes me, allows me to cry it out and release all the toxic stuff, mental health hey, its a weird and complex thing!!

I take a bow and applaude you, Thank You, makes complete sense and I totally agree 100%.

I am sick of talk about when your better, once your counsellling is done, when your fixed, once this is over etc etc etc, I have Complex PTSD, this is not going to just go away, or be fixed so I have the same attitude as you, it is a part of me and I am learning to accept it and manage it and just roll with it, I believe it just adds another dimension to the person I am becoming.

There is something liberating about losing your shit completely, having a huge meltdown and emerging on the other side, for me its like a ctrl alt del, kinda reboots me, refreshes me, allows me to cry it out and release all the toxic stuff, mental health hey, its a weird and complex thing!!

@QueenBubsy Thanks for joining in the discussion. I agree, it is very complex and eveyone is going to have their own approach to dealing with it.

We are very much in the same boat, trauma is at the root of my depression and it isn't something that's going to go away. Maybe it's not ok to say this, this is all just my opinion. But I guess from my own experience, I accept that my condition is what it is. My goal is survival, management, reducing the damage. My goal is not "getting better". And maybe that's an uncomfortable concept for some, maybe it's wrong. But there are days when I can't function, and there will be plenty more, and I'm ok with that--at least most of the time anyway. As part of my goal to surviving and limiting the damage, challenging my own perspective is something I have to do.

For a minute there, I felt comforted at the realisation that if I can get my head into a space of acceptance, not fighting it, not ignoring it, not hating myself for being this way. If I accept it, it's easier to get through.

I'm worried I'm not explaining myself properly here. And I'm afraid I've upset some people. I'm really not trying to say or do the wrong thing. I'm just trying to work my way through my shit.

Sorry if I'm being disruptive here, but I really don't understand what's going on in this thread. Are people saying (or at least playing with the idea) that they like feeling bad?

I don't like feeling bad - ever. Ideally, I would never, ever feel bad. And when I do feel bad, that's a problem I want fixed, because I don't want to feel that way.

So when I read threads like this, where people are saying that when they feel bad, they don't want that to be fixed, it really makes me wonder what's going on.

I've had several grenades of confusion thrown at me about this issue in recent years. And this thread just adds to that confusion. And it probably wouldn't be so bad, except for the major implications it has upon our engagement with society.

Am I surrounded by people who think "it's fine to be miserable"; and by extension, who believe "it's fine to inflict misery upon others"? If that's the foundation of our society, a misery-based econemy, then...

Well, the hows and whys don't seem to matter anymore once you start going down that road. Suffice to say that I don't want to live in a place like that.