Help. Please.

Thanks @Appleblossom and I'm sorry for ehat you had to go through losing your sister.

And yeah, I think so too, the more it's talked about the easier it is for anyone who is struggling to come forward. But I do forget it's not something everyone is comfortable talking about, that it's not something everyone thinks about. But anyway. My head feels fried after today. Only a few more days til I see my GP to talk meds. Don't think I've ever said this before, but I can't fu*king wait. Can not wait to see what she can throw my way to get this sh*t storm in my head moving along. Can't wait.

Aww that's so nice hearing those words from your son @saltandpepper

How old is he?

Incredibly heart warming, he's 4, just a little tacker

@saltandpepper

Aww so cute. My granddaughter is 3 1/2 and she told me yesterday she will miss me when she moves out.
such a sweet innocent age. I love it. The things they say. I just laugh

@saltandpepper

Your young son sounds beautiful.

Of course she will miss you @BlueBay they may be little but they're pretty switched on. How did it all go with your daughter moving out? Hope you are handling it as well as you can and taking comfort knowing you've been a great support for your daughter when she really needed it.

He's the best kid @Appleblossom Love him more than anything.

Let's just say it's very quiet here!!! @saltandpepper

I am missing her lots

Monday will be the test as everyone is at work and I'll be home alone.

Hi @saltandpepper , I am so sorry I was not around last night and that I missed seeing your post any earlier today too.

I'm so sorry you're experiencing all of this, life is all too often a rocky, rocky road!

I reckon there's the vestiges of a person at every age we've ever been inside us, they're the ones who react to the triggers and stuff, and we, as the older, potentially more experienced ones, are a bit like carers in a way. Carers for the hurt, twisted, bent and broken bits of ourselves that we hide inside.

As a diabetic, I can control my Blood Glucose Levels (BGL's) by counting the carbs in any snack, or meal, or drink, I consume and keeping them below 50 per 2 hours.

Sometimes I really, reallly, really, f'ing really WANT to eat more of something and I have to make a choice about that.

Do I eat more and suffer the consequences of that over the next 3 days or so, or do I treat myself with more respect and kindness and do what I know would be the best outcome for me and pass up the extras? NIne out of ten times I will pass it up, but sometimes I just go, no I want that, I will deal with the fallout - MInd you, it's never been more than about 30 carbs more than my designated amount that keeps my BGL's at almost non-diabetic.

Thing is, I worked out a process by which I can choose to cheat, or choose not to cheat myself out of feeling better. Maybe this is the sort of thing your psych is trying to explain to you? If so, they seemed to have done a poor job of helping you. I'm so sorry you did not get any proper explanations or guidance.

My depression levels will increase if I am unkind to myself with food too, so there are multiple things to consider and choose.

I've given up fighting with my depression, it is now something that accompanies me whereever I go, whatever I do, I have tried to embrace it and work with it, in order to get more out of my day. All the meds, and all the work programs, and all the self talk, and all the everythings I've done to 'get better' have only been a panacea, they have, and cannot (imo) mend the broken bits of me, my thought processes, my experiences, my mind, or my soul.

I have chosen to live with it. Since doing that, my anger and frustrations at the world have reduced too. Admittedly, I'm seriously socially isolated, so that isn't a path for everyone, but it suits me.

I'm done with being told that I need to work on 'getting better', and that my experiences aren't valid reasons for responding in the ways I do. I'm waiting for current psychological reasoning to catch up with actual reality.

I think I rambled a bit there, hopefully not too far off though - my thoughts and management processes about how I make choices for myself, I suppose.
Keep looking after you @saltandpepper as best you can.

Have you made plans for the day @BlueBay like grabbing lunch with a mate or even just something like grocery shopping in the arvo? Just somethiing that'll get you out of your head and your house for a little while