Help. Please.

Beer icy poles @TAB

Hello @saltandpepper

Gosh your message takes me back 20 years...such emotionally draining times. I am sorry, can I tell you it gets easier? Are you guys amicable? That helps.

You're grieving at present, grieving the loss of your hopes and dreams. I'm sorry it didn't work out. My husband and I were 10 years too. Its sad. Especially when a child's in the middle.

If you can do the swap over with minimal contact that will help. I.e you wait in car? Explain to your ex it's necessary for self preservation? Perhaps have a handover book your son can carry with important notes for each other?

Hope this helps, I'm sorry you are going through this 😔 Take care of you my friend 🙏

@Anastasia That is an excellent idea, yes, will do that. Thanks for responding, much appreciated, especially when I know you've had so much going on.

Yeah I mean amicable might be too strong a word haha. It got a bit heated. And I kind of snapped the other day. We said we'd try and be friends but, in practice, it just hurts too much. My ex tries to talk to me about whatever is going on, like what they did at work or whatever or what's going on with their friends/family. I did snap the other day which isn't helpful. It just hurts you know? Hearing about all the things I'm no longer part of. I just don't really wanna hear about it. Perhaps I should try explaining, I'm just sick of trying to explain shit and talk. But yeah, I will go with your idea and I guess push through one more conversation to explain myself.

I guess you're not getting much sleep over there then? Do you wanna talk about what's going on?

Morning @saltandpepper @Anastasia

Having trouble sleeping

Its good to see you @saltandpepper

No sleep here, Same boat hey 🚣

I'm glad I could help. Bounce ideas off me anytime. We got to a place where special occasions like birthdays and Christmas were shared. He remarried early days and I am grateful for his wife in my son's lives. It was never "easy" but it was always about the boys.

Not much to say my end. I'm ridiculously concerned about my boy. His Dr does my head in. My boy loves him.

My boss is a Saint. I have his support with working around what's going on. After tomorrow I'll be working from home around my boys appointments. So lucky. Funny he thinks he's the lucky one 🙏

I have some drastic changes to implement around boundaries and self care. I will. Its needed. Never easy. But all things considered the last 48 hours has been game changing. So I'm getting there. Thank you for listening 🙏

Hey @BlueBay good to see you 🌷

Sorry you can't sleep either. Are you ok?

Hey @Anastasia

My back is sore from working two days in a row 10-7pm. I've had a restless night with memories of my childhood abuse. It sucks!!

Did you sleep well? Xx

Also @saltandpepper if the conversation is too hard and emotions will get in the way an email with facts, feelings and a solution might work?

In that order 🙂

Example.

When I do X, it makes me feel Y, so I would appreciate implementing Z moving forward.

@Anastasia Sorry you're not getting any rest, completely understandable though. Have you tried using a white noise app? I've found that helpful, just gives me something to redirect my focus to.

I am also sorry you've been through a similar situation, but amazed at how well you guys did getting to such a good place. Maybe one day we'll get there. Maybe. I guess it's just too early for me.

What's the go with your sons doctor? Is it a good thing that your son is comfortable with him? How is your boy going?

Great news re work, wonderful to have a boss that's flexible around family. Will you take some time off work here soon? Yeah, you gotta take care of yourself @Anastasia otherwise it goes to an ugly place. Pick a time and stick to it, even if in the beginning all you can manage is a 10 minute break for a cup of tea. Reckon you can do that today? No phone no nothing just a hot cup of tea and sitting in the sun--weather permitting

Oh @BlueBay a sore back sucks! I'm sorry. I know you're on your feet for those long hours, not easy. I hope you find something to soothe the pain.

Yes, childhood abuse is something no one should ever have to live with, I am so sorry. Just so unfair xox

I had enough to soldier on but I think I could sleep for a month if only I could haha 😃

@saltandpepper