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27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

Lisa2Contributor29 Mar 2021, 10:05 am AEDT

27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

My mum is 60 and got diagnosed with stage four bowel cancer a year and a half ago. She's getting to the end of her battle and moving into hospice soon. I moved back in with her when she was diagnosed to look after her, and have since cut back to four days a week at work. I am really struggling mentally. I drink in secret most nights and have a hard time putting on a happy front at work. I don't want to be alive anymore but am out of a feeling of responsibility to my dad and sister. I feel so alone all the time. I don't know what to do and struggle to talk to people face to face about my feelings, often pushing people away. Any insight and advice would be helpful. Thanks.

23 replies

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In response to: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

ShiningStarSenior Contributor24 Apr 2021, 7:42 pm AEST

Re: SorrRe: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

Hi @Lisa2

I just wanted to reach out to say that I’m so deeply sorry to hear about the loss of your mum

It can be incredibly confronting to watch someone die and I can’t even begin to imagine the pain and distress of watching your mum take her final breathes - this is absolutely heart breaking

Please know that I’m thinking of you and remember that you’re always welcome to reach out here whenever you need to

Sending you some very gentle hugs at such a difficult time

Take care of yourself,

ShiningStar

In response to: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

nowwhatCasual Contributor28 Apr 2021, 1:08 pm AEST

Re: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

Hi Lisa2

Sorry to hear your story.

Watching your mother struggle is something i am so familiar with. My mother had stage 4 stomach cancer and lost her battle. I was also her carer and this brings on enormous responsibilities that overwhelm mentally and physically. She died 8 years ago this year and I still have patches where i am extremely guilty that i was unable to do more for her.

The act of feeling responsible is mentally draining and it is easy to say that you shouldn't be but it is hard. It isnt uncommon that you push people away ( i have done that) because they don't really have an insight of what is really going on with you. Some people push us away unintentionally because they dont understand what it means to walk in our shoes.

Places like this offer a friendly ear and advice and allows you to express what you are feeling. I am going to see a therapist soon because its time to deal with the situations I am experiencing. A great GP also helps. Have you thought about that? Dont deal with it alone keep talking to get ideas how to handle things and try to subsitute drinking with a long walk, exercising etc.

thinking of you

In response to: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

nowwhatCasual Contributor30 Apr 2021, 3:01 pm AEST

Re: SorrRe: 27 yo with severe depression and dying mother.

Hi lisa

Condolences to both you and your sister at this heartbreaking time.

It brought back memories of watching my mother take her last breath. It takes a while to get over it the love between you will be forever. Remember the good times and not the pain she went through. Big hugs to you x

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