Interesting point. @WIP
My ex told me this week that he spends $200 per month on his hobby. I dont have spare cash, and am prepared to direct house equity to son's needs but not if it goes to waste, so watching and waiting through it all. Maybe the father can redirect his hobby money, but without consent from his son it will not matter. Also, maybe more importantly, the father has to be honest about his own delusions, illness and hospitalisations, and he and daughters have been pretending 'everything bad' is my fault. It does not add up .... but I cant fight it. Son is beginning to see that by the denial about his father's own issues something is up. I would give it all away if that was the right thing, and when I get suicidal my thinking goes there. I really do not need to sit on a house, but without wise management, money means nothing. I have known the son of famous local university dean who blew all legacy on drugs ... so many stories ... Personally I see it as a way of privilege denied to my family.
I see our family predicament over this as a liminal "something" beyond money solves everything mentalities.
Edited - Sorry for the over share.