Let`s talk about Bipolar

I prefer winter, easier to warm up than cool down in summer maybe, and it has been fairly sunny here (albeit cold still), definatelty overcast weather for extended periods can cause a bit of gloom..

But yeah generally speaking pretty been feeling better the last few days, I think talking to people here and hearing that the things I experience with my partner are the same for at least another person (sjt63) kind of made me feel less alone.

Hi @bipolarbunny @Shaz51 @Former-Member @Meowmy @Bipolarcarer @eth @Appleblossom and all here,

Big bad day with emotions since waking this morning. I started a new anti-depressant yesterday and already the usual awful first-week emotional side effects have kicked in. It seems that no matter how much I wisely accept and prepare myself for this beforehand, the changes to mind and body chemistry at these times often overwhelm me nonetheless.

This process of trying to find an anti-depressant that works for me at this time of my life has been going on for a year, a consequently unstable year that has also contained awful episodes of physical illness. And still no answer yet in sight, just another chemical experiment with my own mind. Unfortunately, a necessary experiment, as I see it myself.

Been crying for an hour or more about not being able to go to something I'd got my hopes up about. It appears it's not fundable through NDIS, therefore not possible for me (I pay about 45% of my pension in rent now). I had long accepted that these kinds of activities would no longer be part of my life. Allowing myself to hope again now has opened me up once more to the deep disappointment I feel about this.

Feeling very poor poor me today.

@Mazarita Oh my friend I am so sorry you are having such a difficult day. Med changes are the worst. I hope everything settles down for you soon.

I'm so sorry to you couldn't go to your function too. I really don't understand NDIS sometimes. Like I have this bucket of money from them too, but the things I can use it for I don't need and the things I want to use it for they won't fund so I can truly understand your disappointment.

Getting our hopes up for something positive in our lives only to have them dashed is devastating and I really feel for you.

Is there something nice you can do for yourself to salvage a little bit of happiness in the day? Like a favourite program on TV, a favourite meal or treat, or a nice warm bath or shower? Sometimes just a little thing can bring some comfort.

I seem to remember a past career of yours was in music? Is there something comforting you can play or listen to?

Of course I'm always here if you just need someone to sit with you and give you a virtual Covid friendly hug xx

I truly hope things brighten up for you soon my friend. Take care of yourself xx

BB 🐰💙

Hello @Mazarita

It was when I first started taking anti-depressants, about 20+ years ago, that I had the issue of determining the best type to take. At that stage one made me feel worse and then a couple of weeks "withdrawal" before another type could be tried. Really, as you say, unstable time before getting it right. Thankfully, since then it has just been a matter of adjusting the dosage. Consequently, I can understand how you feel and can empathise with where you are at. It has not been a good feeling that I have experienced, when I have tried to adjust the dosage down, on a number of occasions.

Hope that you can find the best one without too much trouble, time and emotional loops.

Best Wishes

HenryX

Exercise is a great serotonin buster. I find just going outside helps me to feel more connected even if it's just to the shops. Fantastic work you are doing with the triathlon training @bipolarbunny

@Mazarita i feel for you at the moment too with starting the new AntiD my worst side effect is clenching, thrusting and biting my mouth constantly. You are totally entitled to feel bad and sorry for yourself. It is awful when you get your hopes up and then it all comes crashing down. I agree with BB. Treat yourself to something pleasant. 🌹💐

@Bunniekins hope you are winning your battle X

hello @Shaz51 @HenryX @Appleblossom @Bipolarcarer @StuF @frog @Meowmy @Dimity

Hi there @Former-Member 🙂

And thinking of you @Mazarita

I hope things improve!

@StuF @HenryX @Former-Member @HenryX @bipolarbunny

@Mazarita Sorry you are down at the moment. This year sounds pretty hard going. I have no suggestions re meds as once being on them for such a long time and on a variety it would make your body a unique and very complex place to stabilise. Having one's hope yoyo is hard. My optimism has not been high re NDIS, but I am glad I have been accepted as it gives me a stable treatment team. I have not used the civil participation budget much, partly cos my Co-ordinator oif Supports is a bad fit. Finding affordable activities has been tricky but I have a good snout for getting great value for money!

I had a recent abusive email sent to me, more abusive about my daughter, by an obviously deranged man with a high opinion of his links to God on high. It was disgraceful and bigoted. I am working at not letting it get to me and setting boundaries. It was a "friend" of a friend. These kinds of links have often been difficult to negotiate in my life. Trying to please them all, and coming off worst. Anyway I have a draft which I will show the "closer" friend and see how things unfold.

Last year I had increase in symptoms like @Former-Member and dropped my dose of AntiDep. Its not the minimium but very low, and I will take them as long as necessary with regard to being stable for my loved ones. My other med is pretty stable, but accidentally today I took night med in morning so had a very weird slow day and cancelled physio, tho did my exercises at home. Need to be more careful!

Regards Bipolar folks

@Appleblossom

Hello Appleblossom

A pleasant note for Mazarita regarding her adjustment of medication. Hope you can access what you require through the NDIS

Disappointing to hear about that email. Such material is always very unsettling, especially when it comes from someone outside the immediate circle. Pleased that your approach sounds to be a pragmatic response. I hope that the “closer” friend will deal with it in an appropriate way.

Understand about the medication. It's annoying when you've just swallowed the dose and then realise that it was at the wrong time.

Hope that you are otherwise well and comfortable.

Best Wishes

HenryX

@Mazarita

Warm cheerio. I hope I was not too brief in my last response to you. Tears are trying times but learning to be proud and cry anyway has been a big lesson. Keep being YOU and when the wave subsides I hope good options appear ahead of you.

Sunday I went to a church that aligns with my beliefs and inner world better and another fellow loaned me a book. I did not read the email to late Sunday. I was so grateful to have a good experience that morning. I felt it was important not to take the bully's issues on me as personal, but part of his pain, feel pity for him, move away, and let it roll off like water ... from the quack quack's back. It was heplful to be able to share it with my support worker and we laughed about the strange irony of extreme Christian stances,... maybe I should call it Christianist .. the ist ... being the extremist aspect ....not sure if thats a word ... I def prefer Beautitudes to Bigotry. ... long sigh.

This was the book.

https://www.bookroom.stpeters.org.au/product-page/gondwana-theology

A lot of it feels very familiar, but I am so old, there is not a lot that is really new and thats fine. Being part of a culture of sharing books seems my kind of culture.

Open minded rather than closed minded.

Love to all

@Anastasia can you drop that NDIS info here please? The TT thread has been closed to reply's. Thanks so much!! xx

BB 🐰💙