Hello @grayhorn , @Delicatessen , @frog , @Olga , @Bunniekins , @Dimity , @eth , @Mazarita , @Shaz51 , @RedHorse , @Appleblossom , @TAB , @Last-Lament @tyme , @Former-Member ....... and others visiting this thread.
During the last few days (week) I have been less active. I am attempting to consolidate and address 'head on' some of the issues that I am facing. I have a great deal of work to do in my personal space. The aim is to 'reduce, repurpose, distribute and dispose of the items and materials, surplus to present and anticipated requirements, that I have collected over the past 30 odd years. This has been part of an on-going discussion with @Dimity and others, in her thread,
Re: The magic of tidying .
Now, I am at an age when my physical capacity is diminishing and I need to look at what I can use and achieve with consideration given to the practicality of projects and, also, the materials and presentation of what I will ultimately leave behind for special others. I am keen to leave a relatively simple space in pleasant condition.
Having been out of the conversations here, for about a week, I wish to review recent posts and comments, and respond to those that I have viewed today.
@grayhorn, I can understand and appreciate your ideas and sentiments in regard to dealing with fairly constant pain. Having had three back operations, which I believe have allowed me to remain independently mobile, I still have a constant level of pain: less when I am sitting or lying down, but with quite a heavy impact when I am standing or moving around. Consequently, pain relief medication has helped me a great deal in maintaining, at least, a reasonable level of activity. I have reduced the medication to the least possible while still assisting to maintain that 'reasonable level of activity'. Despite the effects of the pain, I also recognise that exercise is imperative for me to be able to continue to be reasonably active in my life. "Catch 22" though, exercise means pain, no exercise means less pain but a consequently, rapidly diminishing capacity to continue to do the things that I wish to do.
Unfortunately, I can also relate to your expressed ideas about the impact of our own pain levels on our relationships with other people. Since I live on my own, I do not have to maintain a position within my household. But, I need to be cautious, when I am with others, that I be conscious of my condition, circumstance and pain levels and any presentation of their effects on the people around me. I can certainly relate to the idea of being a hermit, against which position I am continually working.
One very pleasing aspect of my interaction in the community, is the awareness of courtesy and support of people around me, evident in the actions of older and younger people alike. It has certainly taken some time for me to accommodate the idea of being a person who may be perceived, mostly by me, as requiring additional assistance from time to time. Since I have allowed myself to accept and acknowledge offers of assistance, where appropriate and necessary, it has been and continues to be gratifying to know that such assistance is so often offered, graciously, pleasantly and with good humour.
Weather conditions do have an impact also. recently I have felt refreshed and invigorated by cooler weather and some rain. However, I am conscious that I am likely to need to work a little harder at times in order to overcome the effects of seasonally darker days. The weather also has strange effects on the ups and downs that we experience. This is all the more reason for me to establish a firm but flexible routine in the required activities of each day, in order to maintain a reasonable sense of stability. Your comment,
"To feel numb and give up, or open oneself to the pleasure and pain of life and the struggle with the polarity of depression and mania?"
seems to be particularly apt.
One point in your correspondence that amused me because I am so familiar with the occurrence. I have occasionally found myself responding to a post or comment, or reading material that has been totally past its "use by date" and very likely, no longer relevant.
With Best Wishes for Now
@HenryX
