Let`s talk about Bipolar

Hi Mazarita,

I’m one of the peer support workers on the forums here, nice to meet you 🙂
It sounds like the forum has been a supportive place at times for you in the past & it’s nice to hear that you’ve reached out again to connect here with the community.

Sorry to hear about your recent shingles and the effect of having to take more meds is having on your mood.

Having difficult discussions with loved ones aren’t easy so I admire your courage in that. I hope that you can feel supported in the forum community during this time.

Take care

Love the Supberb Blue Fairy Wren boys... zee girls are not so lucky with colouring ....

@Former-Member

Gentle Hugs @Mazarita

Always good to see your name and tag come up.

For me going back so far as we do, has made a difference.

Med combinations can be very tricky. I hope it does all settle down.

The shingles sounds horrific, but glad the nerve pain has subsided.

How long is your mother staying?

Human combinations are tricky too. She is formed in her way and you are formed in yours. I was quite different to my mother. Even when love is present and expressed, many things can get in the way of having a good time together. I sense your anxiety and the pressure, about it being the last visit, so extra need to make it a good one.... when anxiety goes up its hard to manage and I know you do all the strategies than are effective and take diligence and perserverance.

Just reaching out. We cannot really change another person's life journey, but maybe the load is lightened a little. Having house guests can be hard, can she accept your needs for quiet and meditation at times, and then get together in a more chatty busy way, after a rest or a walk? Is it possible to synchronise rest times. Ooooh the human journey .... is a challenge.

Cooooeeee

Hey @Appleblossom happy to see you around and the friendship seemingly always here between us after all these years.

Thanks for hearing and responding. The best thing at the moment is being kept company with it, especially by you and others who know this mental health journey with conditions that give us far less peace of mind than anyone would hope for.

As often, you really get the complexities in a number of your observations in the previous post.

Reminding myself of the similarly difficult emotional experiences so many families go through over xmas helps a little as well.

My fear is my own irritability and anger that arises under stress. Staying with Mum is high on the stress list. When over-the-top irritability comes out in me these days, or unreasonable anger outbursts, my mind is really shattered. At least these episodes tend to be very brief these days, but the dark rumblings of mood can then deepen as a groundtone and the resilience drop further.

This is not the kind person I intend to be, and am in practice a lot. It's hard to reconcile the split in me, sickening.

Another aspect of things is that Mum being 86 is becoming more dependent on others, probably more than she realises herself. Being functionally disabled myself, and her only daughter, is not easy in terms of trying to organise everything for her needs. You may remember, the main reason I did not have kids is because I have been consistently unable to even look after myself properly throughout my life and simply saw disaster looming for all involved if I had a child.

Of course, Mum in her advancing age and deteriorating health is becoming like a child I need to care for now, at least when she is coming to visit here. Being her only daughter, I so wish to rise to the occasion for Mum. But even without this current chemical depression from the shingles med, caring for myself let alone others is a high reach. and has me walking a tightrope at the outer edges of my practical capacities.

If life was something that happened completely while sitting at a computer, I would be a multi-tasking whizz. Meanwhile in ordinary daily life I need to list out every step involved in getting out the door to an appointment, and double check repeatedly for what time it was I need to be in the shower. Laugh or cry.

Anyway, with luck, the worsened depression and anxiety I am experiencing now may pass before Mum arrives and I will be more stable, stronger and resilient, and all will be close to well for the 12 days she is here.

Of course that also depends on the Qld border opening on schedule on the 17 December!

Hello @Mazarita it's good to hear from you. It sounds as though you've had a really tough time with the shingles, very painful and debilitating. The ongoing NDIS support is important and must have given you some continuity.

I hope you can enjoy the time with your mother. I had a complicated relationship with mine too. If you're planning I hope you can factor in downtime for music reading or rest as a break from the anticipated monologues. Sharing meal preparation is one of the things I miss now. The simple rhythms of life can sooth deeper seated angst.

Thankyou for dropping by, @Mazarita . I hope your depression lifts. You're always very welcome In my feed.

Take care,

Dimity.

Hello @Mazarita and @Appleblossom , @Shaz51 , @Former-Member , @Dimity

I have been pleased to have been able to read all your posts with regard to your own lives and support for each other.

Early after my arrival in February, I remember talking with you @Mazarita , and sharing comments together. Recently, I have taken the opportunity to reflect on the time when my Mum was with me. That time was, as I have commented a number of times in other posts, a very special and healing time for me as I hope and believe that it was for Mum. Yet we did have our peaks and troughs. However, for the most part and for near on ten years, I do believe that we were able to work successfully together. Had the same situation been with my father, I very much doubt that we would have managed six months together. In fact, if he had not passed away before Mum, I believe that Mum and I would have had to meet out for a meal, from time to time, just to have had any meaningful contact.

That part of my story, in relation to your concerns, may seem somewhat negative. I am pleased though, that you are able to acknowledge your mother and to be able to consider having her in your home. It is possible that your Mum may have difficulty knowing, herself, how to fit in with you in your home. We may consider that our parent should know who we are and how we are. However, you have probably been independent and living a totally different life from that to which your Mum would ever have been accustomed. Consequently, she may have the underlying feeling that it is now her duty to fit in with you, in your life, but simply not have the knowledge and experience or connections with which to know how that should take place.

It might seem strange, but it may be that your Mum is the one who needs the gentle guidance with regard to how your household functions, to enable her to feel that she knows the ways that allow her to fit in.

Needless to say, I hope that I am not speaking 'out of turn' with any suggestions that I offer. I am in the age bracket that puts me right between you and your Mum. I think that if I went to the home of one of my children, that I would feel as though I were carefully (even desparately) "trying not to crush any eggshells".

With my very Best Wishes for the Visit of Your Mum, @Mazarita

@HenryX

Thanks, @Dimity and @HenryX, your responses are appreciated. Well wishes to you both.

Sending love @Mazarita Think of you often, just don't make it here. Best wishes for things to settle for the better for you before your time with your Mum. The suggestion of scheduling in some quiet time for yourself each day is one that has worked for me with mine when she visits these days. I tell her it's not flexible - I am not interacting with anyone from, say, 2.30 - 4, every day.

Sending you all my best wishes xx

Hi also to @Appleblossom @Dimity @HenryX @Shaz51

ohh i have missed a few pages here @TideisTurning , @Daisydreamer , @eth , @Mazarita , @HenryX , @Dimity , @Appleblossom , @frog , @Sophie1 , @Meowmy , @Olga , @Strivetothrive , @Nance , @Bipolar , @Bipolarcarer

my poor mr shaz who has Bipolar 2 and oher diagnosis is really in a washing machine full of emotions and not sure on which way to turn

Is Mr shaz going through a rough patch at the moment @Shaz51 ? Sounds like lots of uncomfortable ups and downs. Sending hugs.

Thank you my @Dimity , Yes Mr shaz does not know which way to turn with my physical problems

He has soo many options that we don't know which is the best way to go at the moment xxx