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Something’s not right

What’s next?

Bellarose75Senior Contributor

What’s next?

Sitting here listening to the bird noises (I would like to say bird song but there is too many different sounds) As I said in my getting start post, I have hit rock bottom and slipped into a crack and it has me wondering what now! I know the only way is up (as I sing that one line from a song I can't remember the rest of the words too) In my last session I finally got it, the only hand that can pull me out is my own and that scares me due to the lack of faith, well the lack of anything in myself to succeed.

So here I am, stripped raw not a memory left unexplored (that I am aware of) no secrets hidden. Now I get to start again, putting it all back together bit by bit. I know there will be lots of times I may fall backwards but I am hoping that I won't get stuck there.

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In response to: What’s next?

Bellarose75Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

I am trying to understand why I have been triggered I guess. My neighbour (also my support worker) Got the courage up to tell her husband she is leaving him, I have known this was her plan for a few weeks now and it doesn't impact her working with me so why has my anxiety exploded, I have the internal shakes and rage!! I just don't get it.

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Bellarose75Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

Mel, honey just stopped by to say hello. Really wish you where online right now. Missing you @Lee82

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

Hey beautiful oh it's so lovely to see you here hun. I miss you so very much and I wish we could be on here together. Maybe we should book a time in....lol

Have you been working on something in your paint room?
today I have taken my boys down to the beach in Torquay. Just needed to be near the ocean. Be by my calm place. I have been struggling quite a lot lately.
I hope we can catch up soon.
love you with all my heart and soul.

@Bellarose75

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Bellarose75Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

That beach looks beautiful Mel, the beach is my haven as well. Hubby use to take us at least twice a week but we haven't been in months. I am sorry to hear how hard it's been for you lately, wishing there was more then supportive words I could offer you. No paint room today at least as I think I am coming down with whatever hubby had and D2 is just getting over. I will post pictures of my favourite new thing as well as the cake I made D2 for pride month (think that is USA only) and I fully understand now why I only bake the cakes and my neighbour or sister in law decorates them. I didn't show you what I made out of the dinosaur planted, pvc pipe and clay so I will post that too. Things are pretty sucky here as well, Izzy is still on vacation somewhere in my head and I am exhausted, everything seems to take every once of energy I have so I spent a lot of the day napping. Missing you heaps, let me know if there is a time you will definitely be here and I will do my very best to be here as well. I love you 3000 @Lee82

The actual cake layers are D2's pride flag, they are non-binary so it's meant to be yellow, white, purple and black!!

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

So sorry to hear you are getting sick hun. I have just gotten over the terrible flu. It hit me like a tonne of bricks.
Can't wait to see your pics. I am sitting by the beach listening to the waves thinking of you.
Is this nikki?
@Bellarose75

My heArt breaks my love for you. I truly wish you could get some peace hun.
love you always and forever ❤️❤️

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

@Anastasia

@Emelia8

@Zoe7

@Eve7

hi my friends. I have misssd you all and I hope you are all well. I haven't been doing very well hence why I haven't been around. I am so sorry I haven't been the greatest support lately. Please know that I always think about you all.

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

Hey @Lee82 There is absolutely no need to apologise at all Hon - you have to look after yourself first Just lovely to see you

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

Thanks beautiful. How have you been doing?
@Zoe7

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Zoe7Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

I am okay @Lee82 Had a fall on Thursday in the rain so my head and back are sore but getting through ...lots of laying down the last couple of days which helps a little. Otherwise doing okay 👍

Fur babies providing me with lots of cuddles and laughs

How are things at your place?

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor

Re: What’s next?

Oh sweetie I'm so sorry to hear about your fall.
so glad to hear your fur babies are providing you with lots of love and cuddles.
we are doing ok. So glad that the boys are back at school.
poor Boris got hit by a car last week. He is ok just had a few cuts and scraps.
@Zoe7

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