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Something’s not right

What’s next?

Bellarose75Senior Contributor17 Mar 2021, 7:52 am AEDT

What’s next?

Sitting here listening to the bird noises (I would like to say bird song but there is too many different sounds) As I said in my getting start post, I have hit rock bottom and slipped into a crack and it has me wondering what now! I know the only way is up (as I sing that one line from a song I can't remember the rest of the words too) In my last session I finally got it, the only hand that can pull me out is my own and that scares me due to the lack of faith, well the lack of anything in myself to succeed.

So here I am, stripped raw not a memory left unexplored (that I am aware of) no secrets hidden. Now I get to start again, putting it all back together bit by bit. I know there will be lots of times I may fall backwards but I am hoping that I won't get stuck there.

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In response to: What’s next?

Zoe7Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 7:53 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

When you get those uncomfortable feelings or triggers @Lee82 focus your mind on exactly what you are doing and why you are doing it - it will not take away all the pain but knowing you are doing it for your kids and for their education is really positive. Taking yourself out of your comfort zone to do this work is amazing Hon - give yourself the credit you deserve for doing that

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:01 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

I just don't have the tools I need to get through my panic. I have to figure out how to deal with it.

Last Sunday I spaced out during serving someone and the person I was working with must have thought I was crazy. I'm just a mess at the moment. Forgetting orders, at times I can't even speak, trying to count money back is even a challenge for me at the moment. I use to be so damn good at hospitality work but now I am just a mess.
@Zoe7 I already have anxiety about it and it's only Friday night

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Zoe7Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:07 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

The more you worry about what you cannot do or are having trouble with, the more anxiety you will have over it all @Lee82 I do know it is not easy to change that mindset nor put it out of your mind altogether but Sunday is in the future - it is not the here and now - so all you have to do for tonight is get though ...then the same tomorrow and take Sunday as it comes. It is very frustrating though when our brains will not behave in a manner we want them to but you are also strong, brave and determined Hon - so keep telling yourself you can do this

In response to: Re: What’s next?

TideisTurningSenior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:09 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

Hey @Lee82, I'm sorry to hear you're struggling so much with anxiety at the moment. A loved one of mine can sometimes experience memory issues as a symptom of their anxiety. I'm wondering if there's anything you could do to help you get through it? Take care 🌻

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:14 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

You are so right @Zoe7 nothing I can do about it tonight or tomorrow. Its just like a subconscious reaction. I feel like I can't control the anxiety around it.
geez sorry Zoe I can't even speak properly right now. It's like my brain does not want to work. It so frustrating because I know what I want to say but I cannot articulate it very well. 😢😢

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Zoe7Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:16 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

That's okay Hon - here to help you work through it in whatever words you can use @Lee82

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:18 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

I suffer from a lot of memory issues @TideisTurning due to my anxiety and stress. It is super frustrating. I have tried so many different things and I haven't really found anything that works long term.
hope you are well and thank you for your support.

In response to: Re: What’s next?

TideisTurningSenior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:20 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

That sounds really frustrating @Lee82! It can take a long time to find the best solution, but I'm sure there'll be one out there.

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:21 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

You are so sweet my friend. Thank you so much for your support and words of wisdom.
you are truly a very special and unique person Zoe.
@Zoe7

In response to: Re: What’s next?

Lee82Senior Contributor14 May 2021, 8:22 pm AEST

Re: What’s next?

@Eve7 My sweet friend. How have you been? I have missed you very much.

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SANE acknowledges the Traditional Owners of Country throughout Australia and recognises the continuing connection to lands, waters and communities. We pay our respect to Aboriginal and Torres Strait Islander cultures; and to Elders past and present.

SANE values diversity. We are committed to providing a safe, culturally appropriate, and inclusive service for all people, regardless of their ethnicity, faith, disability, sexuality, or gender identity.