Relationships: Maintaining boundaries when experiencing complex mental health issues

@Meowmy

@Adge I have had more support of late from family - and have asked for it which is very hard for me. I don't know whether it is me asserting my needs and boundaries with certain family members or they have just finally heard what I need but it has become easier ...not ideal but I take what I can get I suppose. There is not the expectation that I can do things physically I used to be asked to do nor the pressure to be around more - I can thank my sister for that - her moving closer to my parents has meant she is around there more and close enough to able to help out. I do miss her being close to me but that too has got easier.

Being on our own certainly has its upsides and in a funny kind of way I feel a little more freedom now - I think that also has a lot to do with my new school and not being tied to the one in my hometown ...too many bad memories and triggers involved so that move has been immensely rewarding for me and given me much more hope.

I know you do not want to be on your own though so we differ there. I do wish I could change that for you and that you could meet someone to share your life with because you are such a lovely, caring and kind soul and anyone would be privileged to be in your life

I'm feeling Seedy/ Wasted to say the least (under-statement).

So I'm very short on words or typing, these past few days.

Just needed to say that I really appreciate what you said @Zoe7

Even my Dr/ GP said that I have a Lovely Smile.

Yes I respect the fact that you are different - That's a Good Thing.

I come Alive in my Relationships (when there is one).

I'm more Spontaneous, more Adventurous, more creative (than when Single) - Generally Happier, even though I have been Badly Used in all my past Relationships.

Yes I am highly independent as a Single person - I have to be, because there is no-one else to do stuff, or to rely on for support (in person).

Yet I'm a Team Player, with no Team to play with - I just do not tend to go places or do enjoyable or new things on my own.

Because I actually do not enjoy "Solo Activities", except Self-Care (Basic Necessity) of course.

Adge

I am truly sad for you @Adge You deserve to have 'a team' and to not be or feel so alone I think it is harder the older we get to find that but I hope you do not give up. I am leading your cheersquad

Yes it does seem a lot harder, when older - To find a partner/ relationship. @Zoe7

I've noticed that with Online Dating - Much fewer responses, much less interest shown, than a few years ago.

Thanks Heaps for adding yourself to my Cheersquad - The more the merrier....

Goto make lots of Noise (Cheersquad) - More Cheerers = More noise....

Adge

Hi @Shaz51

I thought a lot about boundaries - it is important to have them and I am glad you are learning to say no to people - we really do need to protect our space and care for ourselves

And recently I read something or hear it - when we set up boundaries for ourselves some people - I guess those people who need the boundaries - might call us selfish - which is a very selfish attitude for them to have - but people have different priorities and we can let them be

We do need to know our limits and right now you have enough on with caring for your Mum and Mr Shaz and also - get ready for your kidney transplant - keeping yourself as healthy as possible while you wait - I do wish you the best for that -

I guess Mr Shaz needs some boundaries too - you have to say no to him sometimes - which must be harder

This is a good subject - I have needed time-out recently and I hope I will be feeling better after I see my specialist later this week -

All the best Shaz

Dec

Thanks for following up with me today @Daisydreamer , and yes I also got your email.

But today is not good for me, so I wont respond to the email. Hope this post will answer your questions adequately.

You may well have found the post I wrote yesterday in the other thread announcing the Peer Support Group.

In that reply I said that I appear to have found a solution, for now. But I am concerned the same may happen again if I go into the Peer Group site.

Yes after I did the fix yesterday, I am now able to access the 'Counselling Support' link and therefore the Chat facility. I will likely utilise that service later today, so I hope its still working then.

Quick answer to your email question ... I usually use Chrome, on both my mobile phone and my PC. However, when I could not access those areas, I also tried Windows 10 Microsoft Edge and Firefox. Neither browser worked. Just gave the message that "This Site Cannot be Accessed".

As explained on the other thread ... Deleting the cache and cookies, etc made no difference whatsoever. In the end I searched the internet and decided that it was likely a Modem and/or router issue, possibly related to security issues. The recommended fix (of shutting everything down and restarting modem, routers, wifi, etc) appears to have done the trick.

My response is here: https://saneforums.org/t5/Forums-news-and-feedback/Tonight-SANE-Peer-Support-Online-Mental-Health-Meet-Up/m-p/1013500#M5052

Emelia

Hi @Emelia8 thank you for flagging that thread, I hadn't seen it yet. Very glad to hear you were able to find a solution to this and can access the site again 🙂

I will flag that thread with the team that are running the Peer Groups to explore some of the issues with access as well