Feeling strange

hi just checking in and hope that things got better for you. Please use the supports you have, like the helplines and yor mental health team and know that there is support there for you in this community as well. Reach out if you need.

@Jynx @Mazarita @Truffles @jazz thanks, I don’t have anyone I can talk to about this and I don’t find helplines to be very helpful often they make things worse for me. I tried to just do relaxing things and watch Netflix but it didn’t help much.

I am still feeling really agitated and scared and I couldn’t get to sleep until around 8am this morning and I still haven’t done any of the things I need to today and I don’t feel good and I need to go get some food but I just can’t seem to get myself to do it and I am trying really hard to manage everything but I am struggling and idk I just everything feels wrong and I am still stuck in the time loop and the beings keep getting into my head and I am still worried about my neighbors and everyone really because I don’t know who is a person and who is actually a demon and and everything is a mess and I am trying so hard and I want to scream and I feel like I am about to cry and I just I don’t know how to explain everything.

Hi @Eden1919 what you are going through sounds so hard. Are meds an option for you given how distressing your experiences at this time? Even if you want to stop taking them later when you are feeling better than this? Glad to hear you are relaxing as much as you can, and making attempts to distract like with Netflix. I understand it may not be all that helpful but at least there is that to go to sometimes, may work better next time. Hoping there is some peace for you soon.

@Mazarita I don’t know about meds at the moment I still haven’t seen my psychiatrist.

I am feeling really bad today, I spent yesterday crying and didn’t sleep for nearly 40 hours and finally got a little sleep this morning but I feel horrible and I am still really agitated and scared and I keep hearing things and stuff keeps crawling on me and people aren’t people and the beings want to hurt me and there is too much going on and I am still not coping with uni or managing to look after myself at all and everything is a mess and I can’t I just everything keeps getting harder and harder and they keep getting into my head and I can’t make I can’t it is hard to explain.

Hi @Eden1919, for the sake of some relief from your suffering, I feel you need to contact your psychiatrist for an emergency appointment and to have some time on meds to give some relief from this mental torment you are experiencing. 40 hours without sleep is way too long and suggests that if you don't get help now, things may get even more tough for you.

Can you ring your psychiatrist, email his office, or send a text? I always prefer email to phone and this is something you could do right now. I really do not want to see you taken to hospital as an emergency admission if things get worse.

In the meantime, I am hearing you and feeling for what you are going through. Hope you get some sleep tonight.

hey @Eden1919

It sounds terribly difficult atm.

A long time ago I did a therapy that encouraged emotional expression, including crying. It can be cleansing, and tears will come on their own, if they are not, dont worry. However it sounds as if you do need more support at home if possible. If you dont want to go to hospital I cant see how it will help, and I support your position. There is a lot in the Current Royal Commission, about beds and questions about what really is effective. Is there any Community Health MH nurse or even CAT team who could maybe give you some face to face support and meds to help temporarily with agitation. Mostly I have tried to manage with lowest possible meds. If a few of the right meds at the right times will help you get through and complete some or all of your studies, then it may be worth it. Dont throw your effort away.

I have had a mixed bag with neighbours. Some are friendly, some just polite, some dont care. Honestly one was a demon and I had to report him over a year ago and he left. With your mind running in crisis mode then it does become harder to tell. One thing that helped me ... was to rate myself in level of distress or agitation, not for anyone else, but for me, so I can regulate meds and me and be glad when things calm down.

Take Care

@Mazarita My psychiatrist doesnt do emergency appointments and even if i contacted them they would just say to wait or if it was an emergency to call crisis services which i dont want to call because they never listen to me anyway.

@Appleblossom I dont trust the crisis team they have left me to die on a number of occasions and i wont be contacting them again. I just think these neighbors might be working for the beings who are trying to hurt me and so they are like watching me. idk it is hard to explain.

I am still feeling really agitated tonight i keep trying to watch netflix and stuff but i just dont feel right and i am tired but also dont feel settled enough to sleep and i just want to cry.

@Eden1919 seems like you have ruled out any possible sources of help? At least there is the forum, I guess, to hear your pain. One last suggestion that comes to mind: do you have any prescriptions for medications that have helped reduce these tormenting voices and perceptions in the past? If so, I would recommend going to a pharmacy to get them now. Hope you can find a way to get the help you need to ease this suffering you are going through.