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Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor16 Feb 2021, 1:01 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Hi there wonderful friends, families and carers 💜

This month we are excited to welcome the President of the Blue Knot Foundation, Cathy Kezelman, as our special guest for Topic Tuesday Live Chat Event on the topic of Trauma. Blue Knot are national leaders in supporting and empowering people who are recovering and healing after complex trauma.

Topic Tuesday will look a bit different this month as we are hosting two discussions back-to-back on the forums with the Blue Knot Foundation.

How will it work?

🔹 From 7:00-8:00pm AEDT, we will start the discussion here in the Friends, Family and Carers forum talking on the topic of Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones.

🔹 From 8:00-9:00pm AEDT the conversation will continue in the Lived Experience Forum talking about Trauma and Recovery (use this link to join the discussion!).

Understanding Trauma

On the SANE forums, there are many stories about the impact of trauma on survivors, friends and families. This discussion will focus on the experience of being a friend, family member or carer for those experiencing trauma. We will cover topics such as understanding what trauma is, how it impacts survivors, and what each of us can do to support those around us (and ourselves!).

Earlier this month we put out a call for questions on the topic of trauma contributing to the planning of this event. We want to extend a huge thank you to the many members who posted questions for this live event- we have done our best to combine key themes and questions! 💙

Please join us here on Tuesday the 23rd of February 2021 from 7:00pm-8:00pm AEDT to follow this conversation.

Want to receive a reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

___________________________________________________________________

I'm new here - what is this?

The event runs from 7:00 - 8.00pm AEDT on the 23rd of February, and then continues in the Lived Experience Forum from 8:00 - 9:00pm AEDT. Each month we focus on a different topic with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator, and joined by a Peer Support Worker.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Our text-based event takes place right here! As it is text-based, no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the newest comments (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye out for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post. We recommend using a desktop computer or laptop for the event for overall ease of use .

Throughout the session, the facilitator will post questions for the guest to answer, and you can provide your answer too. Usually the questions will ask for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the event, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong, and everyone is welcome to get involved!

What time does this event start in my timezone?

AEDT - 7:00pm
AEST - 6:00pm
ACDT - 6:30pm
ACST - 5:30pm
WST - 4:00pm

If you have any questions about how to use the Forums, check out our Guides.

Topic Tuesday discussions can cover some heavy topics. If you are feeling distress during this live discussion, there are support options available to you. You can start a new discussion on the forums and talk to other members, contact the SANE Help Centre on 1800 18 7263, or find crisis support options here.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

CathyblueknotContributor23 Feb 2021, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Question 6: Family members and friends may experience second-hand trauma in their supporting role. Or, there may be households where many family members are living with their own personal experience of trauma.

What support is available for supporters who may also be living with a personal experience of trauma?

Supporting a person who have experiences of trauma can be inspiring as well as challenging. It can also be a long process of recovery and so it is critical that family and friends look after themselves as well.

Just as survivors can feel alone in the process so family and friends can feel alone as well. It is important to reach out and find information and support. It is also quite possible given how common trauma is that families and friends will have their own trauma experiences. It is important to monitor your own stress levels, levels of arousal – agitated or shut down and use grounding, breathing, self-soothing techniques to settle yourself as well.

It is very important to look after yourself – do all the things you can to stay well and healthy, and the things you enjoy as well. It is important to take time out and be as compassionate with yourself as you are with the person you are supporting.

https://www.blueknot.org.au/Survivors-Supporters/Supporters

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Shaz51Senior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

hello @Daisydreamer , @Cathyblueknot , @Former-Member

back again

had dinner

not a good night for my mr shaz

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Feb 2021, 7:49 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

I’ve learned the hard way myself that it’s critical you look after your own wellbeing as a carer of someone with CPTSD, especially given my own experiences of trauma. Vicarious trauma is very real. Some helpful things I find include creating boundaries, taking some time off, and connecting with professional support.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:54 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Malinka that's a tough situation, balancing between wanting to be a supportive and being there for your family, but also looking after your mental wellbeing. Putting the theory in practice all the time is hard, especially when it is someone you love. Does he have a support network he can also lean on?

In two days time we have a peer support group online that talks about interpersonal boundaries and will discuss things like you have mentioned here if you are interested💙

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

UTLAUCasual Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:55 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

it isn't mental illness that is evil ... it is the way it is treated ... or not treated. the general population do not understand, and not do a lot of medical proffessionals ... both those groups need to be educated.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Hugs @Shaz51

100% okay if you need to come and go from the chat

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Blue Knot has some brilliant resources to support friends, families and carers who are caring for loved ones, but also to look after ourselves.

Personally, I have used the Blue Knot Help Line before when supporting a loved one, and it really helped me to understand how I could support them, and look after myself too. (Important to note this is 9am-5pm, 7 days a week)

Our last question here tonight before we jump across to the Lived Experience Forum. I encourage everyone following along to add your thoughts to this question too.

Question 7: What are three top tips you have for supporting a friend, family member or loved one who is a survivor of trauma?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Last-LamentSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Hi all.

Just managed to catch up with things now. Late getting here due to time differences I didn't think of.

@Cathyblueknot @Daisydreamer wondering if you think actual recovery is possible after long term repeated traumas.

the loop just seems to keep looping for me.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

CathyblueknotContributor23 Feb 2021, 7:56 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Question 7: What are three top tips you have for supporting a friend, family member or loved one who is a survivor of trauma?

1. Know that recovery is absolutely possible and that even at times when things feel very grim, to hold onto the hope that things will improve and hold that hope not only for yourself but for the person you are supporting.

2. Find out as much as you can about how trauma can affect people, to enable you to understand the person you are supporting’s reactions to enable you to remain empathic and understanding, and not take things personally when the going gets tough.

3. Stay well and healthy. Check in with yourself regularly. Reach out and get support. Take time out when you need to. Be compassionate with you.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

BunniekinsSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:57 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Daisydreamer the peer support group online sounds good. I am kind of in between with it. I am a carer but also have a mental illness.

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