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Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor16 Feb 2021, 1:01 pm AEDT

Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Hi there wonderful friends, families and carers 💜

This month we are excited to welcome the President of the Blue Knot Foundation, Cathy Kezelman, as our special guest for Topic Tuesday Live Chat Event on the topic of Trauma. Blue Knot are national leaders in supporting and empowering people who are recovering and healing after complex trauma.

Topic Tuesday will look a bit different this month as we are hosting two discussions back-to-back on the forums with the Blue Knot Foundation.

How will it work?

🔹 From 7:00-8:00pm AEDT, we will start the discussion here in the Friends, Family and Carers forum talking on the topic of Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones.

🔹 From 8:00-9:00pm AEDT the conversation will continue in the Lived Experience Forum talking about Trauma and Recovery (use this link to join the discussion!).

Understanding Trauma

On the SANE forums, there are many stories about the impact of trauma on survivors, friends and families. This discussion will focus on the experience of being a friend, family member or carer for those experiencing trauma. We will cover topics such as understanding what trauma is, how it impacts survivors, and what each of us can do to support those around us (and ourselves!).

Earlier this month we put out a call for questions on the topic of trauma contributing to the planning of this event. We want to extend a huge thank you to the many members who posted questions for this live event- we have done our best to combine key themes and questions! 💙

Please join us here on Tuesday the 23rd of February 2021 from 7:00pm-8:00pm AEDT to follow this conversation.

Want to receive a reminder on the night? Hit the 'Support' button below.

___________________________________________________________________

I'm new here - what is this?

The event runs from 7:00 - 8.00pm AEDT on the 23rd of February, and then continues in the Lived Experience Forum from 8:00 - 9:00pm AEDT. Each month we focus on a different topic with the session facilitated by a Community Manager or Moderator, and joined by a Peer Support Worker.

The first post of the thread (this one) will give you an idea of what the topic is and what will be covered.

How do I get involved?

Our text-based event takes place right here! As it is text-based, no software is needed. During the session, to keep up with the latest posts hit the 'refresh' button on your browser for the newest comments (it doesn't automatically update). Keep an eye out for page numbers at the top & bottom of the page, and jump to the highest page number for the most recent post. We recommend using a desktop computer or laptop for the event for overall ease of use .

Throughout the session, the facilitator will post questions for the guest to answer, and you can provide your answer too. Usually the questions will ask for your own experience on the topic. To contribute to the event, just hit the 'reply' button and share your thoughts. No answers are right or wrong, and everyone is welcome to get involved!

What time does this event start in my timezone?

AEDT - 7:00pm
AEST - 6:00pm
ACDT - 6:30pm
ACST - 5:30pm
WST - 4:00pm

If you have any questions about how to use the Forums, check out our Guides.

Topic Tuesday discussions can cover some heavy topics. If you are feeling distress during this live discussion, there are support options available to you. You can start a new discussion on the forums and talk to other members, contact the SANE Help Centre on 1800 18 7263, or find crisis support options here.

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In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:42 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Here on the Friends, Family and Carers forum many members post about the impact of trauma on loved ones, at all stages of recovery.

For those that may hear about traumatic experiences that have happened to their loved ones, (Question 5): How do you respond to someone disclosing an experience of trauma?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

CathyblueknotContributor23 Feb 2021, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Question 5: How do you respond to someone disclosing an experience of trauma?

The bottom line for supporting someone who is disclosing trauma is to listen deeply, hear, and validate the way the person is feeling. It is important to say that you believe them, not question or try and solve anything but respond to how they are in the present in that moment.

Find out what the person needs and wants, who you might call, how you can help.

Disclosing is a critical first step and the way you respond is very important in a person’s process of recovery. What is important is that they have felt safe enough with you to disclose and trusted you with what may have been a secret before that time.

It is important to honour their experience, provide them with your support and then other options for ongoing support

A helpful resource Blue Knot has is in the link below:

https://www.blueknot.org.au/Resources/Publications/Talking-about-trauma/Talking_About_Trauma_Public

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

chibamSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Cathyblueknot wrote:
Some people recover some of these memories later on, triggered into the past memory. These are called recovered memories and research has shown that recovered memories are as reliable as memories which have never been forgotten.

I thought there was a major scandal (back in the 80s? 90s?) regarding recovered memories and a lot of accusations arising from them that were later proven to be false?

Have there been developments since then that have proven those memories to be accurate after all?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Feb 2021, 7:43 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Question 5: How do you respond to someone disclosing an experience of trauma?

I think it’s also worthwhile to not ask for details about the traumatic event/s that happened which can be unnecessarily triggering, but rather focus on supporting them in the present, and finding out what they might want or need.

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Unknown userMember23 Feb 2021, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Bunniekins we have a question similar to the one you asked on our Lived Experience Q&A starting at 8pm AEDT- if you're still feeling up for it, stay around for that

In response to: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

BunniekinsSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:46 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@MissTreated I always felt mistreated and demonised and mad (I have schizoaffective disorder and ptsd). You must look after you and your children. Sometimes people (like myself) have to fall completely before they get appropriate help. I really didnt know I was sick .... mental illness is such an evil thing. There are some great psychologists out there and a stack of information on youtube. The internet is your friend in this. Again look after you.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

MalinkaCasual Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:47 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Cathyblueknot I understand and try and practice the theory here, but it is so tough to do in the course of daily life. I'll be in the middle of cooking tea and helping kiddo with homework and loading the dishwasher, or rushing out the door to work, and he'll come up for a quick chat and suddenly disclose some horrifying past traumas that are difficult for me to hear about. I try to tell him I care but I can't listen right now, but he just ends up hearing I won't listen.

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

AdgeSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Cathyblueknotsaid:

"The bottom line for supporting someone who is disclosing trauma is to listen deeply, hear, and validate the way the person is feeling. It is important to say that you believe them, not question or try and solve anything but respond to how they are in the present in that moment.

Find out what the person needs and wants, who you might call, how you can help.

It is important to honour their experience,provide them with your support and then other options for ongoing support".

Absolutely - That's how I approach it.

People need to be heard & believed.

My siblings & parent would not - They responded with Disbelief/ Denial, then shut the conversation down.

Adge

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

DaisydreamerSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

Here is our next question @Cathyblueknot and @Former-Member and it touches on some of the discussion about trauma within families that has been mentioned tonight.

Question 6: Family members and friends may experience second-hand trauma in their supporting role. Or, there may be households where many family members are living with their own personal experience of trauma.

What support is available for supporters who may also be living with a personal experience of trauma?

In response to: Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

BunniekinsSenior Contributor23 Feb 2021, 7:48 pm AEDT

Re: Topic Tuesday // Understanding Trauma and Supporting Loved Ones// Blue Knot Foundation // Tues 23rd February 2021, 7:00-8:00PM AEDT

@Former-Member thanks girasole I will try all depends upon son2 lol 😄

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