I've hit a rough patch

Hi @utopia - This specialist has been supportive most of the time - and I have been going to that pain clinic for many years - and now and again she has got edgy about my medication - seeing as this is pain medication I guess she has to be - but a year ago I was seriously upset - and it was very hard having one of my medications just cut like that and not replaced with anything

@HellonWheels

I does seem ridiculous - and no doubt feeling edgy about it is one reason I was easily tipped into a bad place about something else

And welcome to our forums - I have yet to read anything else you have written but this is a good safe place to share

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But I am seeing my GP twice a week and he can see how much pain I have - how it varies - I get to chat with him for a short time and it is like seeing a friend and telling him other stuff - how it went with my psychotherapist - what docos I watch - what is in current events - and he was supportive when I had to leave the website (in the States) where I was a support member and I was upset that they started advocating MMJ - it changed the website and my doctor warned me to get out - I was glad he knew when I had trouble getting them to accept my resignation.

So I do have him watching my back - I am sure he would be supportive if I have trouble with the specialist - and I mean letting her know that I am not in a good place to take a reduction in medication - it is fine for her to be happy with my progress - I have not felt anything to be happy about

I will be glad to hopefully let all of you know tomorrow that things are okay for the next 6 months

Decadian

Hi @Decadian. Gosh, that must have been a heavy cross to bear, keeping it from the family. Hopefully you had someone in your corner. The "system" sure as hell wouldn't have been.

The good news regarding my daughter was that, once they had in her in surgery, they confirmed that it was a benign tumour. She had bone grafts from her hip, spent year 7 on crutches and, other than a blip a year later, has been in the clear since. She has quite a scar to show for it, and a bony protuberance, but otherwise she's fine. We were at the dressmaker's getting her formal dress altered today and she requested a sl it cut in the side of the good leg. So all good.

I'm headed off for some shut eye now. Hope you wake to a brighter day tomorrow.

Hope all goes well for you tomorrow, @Decadian. Will be thinking of you and sending positive vibes.

Thanks @Former-Member

The bad day has passed - they come now and again - and yes - keeping the last year or so of my son's life to myself was a cross - seeing as I chose to carry it - and it was brutal - I found the chaplain at the university really helpful - and he even went to the Juvenile Justice Cenre to visit my son - which was above and beyond I think

My story touched a lot of people - the failure of family help often showed on people's faces - some of them were elderly - I remember - and they were shocked -

And I do not understand it and it is still a burden - oddly enough - not because of what I went through - but because of what my parents chose to go with it

And today - strangely - it doesn't feel so bad - they chose that and they had their consequences - it might go away in time - it was not my choice then and should not be now

I am glad the tumour in your daughter's leg was benign - I had one of those in my knee - I could see myself on the MRI that it wasn't invading the bone - but still - it was a scary time -

It would be so much harder in a child though - and a year on crutches - wow - that would build up the arm and shoulders - and how great she wanted that sl-it in her skirt for her formal _today!!

And thanks also @hope77

For both of you - I will be leaving for the pain clinic soon - I don't feel as edgy today - and ready to kick ass as @hope77 has suggested - I get dressed properly - but I have not taken any extra medication to forestall the pain - I have no idea what I look like when I have pain - but I am sure I have enough stuff to say

"Hey - that's enough cutting back on the medication"

Thanks for the best wishes

Decadian

Hi @Decadian. Good to hear the bad day is behind you. That's a great place for it to be.

Hope you kicked ass at the pain clinic today.

Hi @utopia and thanks

I went to the Pain Clinic yesterday - and today I feel better than I have for ages - it was really on my mind

No changes to my medication - that bothered me a lot because I had one of the items in my regime taken away without warning about a year ago.

Apparently all the stuff I do to enhance my life - which is perfectly natural for me - to read a lot and get into academic stuff - and play the piano - and meditate etc - and walk when the weather is okay - is what I am supposed to do - aw - she never said that before -

When I got home I was unsettled and I don't think I got onto my computer - but I did eat a good dinner - chicken kiev and vegetables -

I had stress - we all have stress - none of us like it but it's what we have -

But yes - today I feel a lot better - after a broken night

Decadian

Hi @utopia

I am still getting over the Pain Specialist and that was Thursday and this is Tuesday - but I have been sleeping better - I have hit a bad place

The computer - this will happen - I have the money and if I was better organised I would probably go out late in a day - any day - and get one

I don't drive - and I fade during the afternoon - and fall asleep if I am not careful - and lose my appetite so - no - I have still got to get it

However - something will - this computer is having death-throes - it has to be turned off and rebooted more often - and this is not "turn off the power from the screen" - it's push the off-button because of a screen freeze"

Through my life one of my coping strategies has been knowing I will do whatever I will do when I feel the urge - I seem to know - and this is high on my list of priorities when I am not dragging my heels everywhere - I have to get one soon - and I will

I just keep telling myself that -

Then I have to get someone to transfer my data from this one to the new one - or keep this one with the data - I have a company that does this - I have saved the money so that is not the problem - it's me - winter - winter - winter - two days left until September

Thanks for asking - ah! phone call - I have been wanting to speak to my case-worker - no - not her

D'uh - I have to pull my socks up - and stop grumbling - this is monotonous

Decadian