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Fearful and lonely

Fearful and lonely

I have been struggling with depression for around 6 years now. I am on a low dose anti depressant/anxiety medication. I'm in my early 30s and feel very lost, isolated and lonely. From the outside I'm sure it seems like I should be happy. I have a great career which I love, my own house & car, some great friends, I try to present myself nicely (hair, nails, makeup) & I often go on holidays.

In most ways I AM happy. But I'm single and incredibly lonely. I have been hurt badly in my 2 past relationships (the last ended nearly a year ago). I find it incredibly rare that I'm actually attracted to someone beyond friendship. I don't want to 'settle' for someone who I'm not compatible with or who doesn't treat me well.

I feel that I've achieved what I wanted to in my life and I really desperately want to be in love and have children. I feel incredibly upset and disappointed that I have not done this yet and due to my age, I fear (terribly) that this won't happen for me. I am very close to my mum and I want her to enjoy being a grandmother. I feel like such a disappointment as I can't and haven't been able to give her this.

There are many days where I can't get out of bed because I've been crying all night and can't sleep. Today being one of them. It might be a book I'm reading or a show on TV that sets me off. Leaving the house means seeing people, families, children and it reminds me that I'm on my own. That I don't have that. The fear I have that I will never have that is crippling.

When I make it to work, I have a great day. Productive and enjoyable. Then I come home to an empty house. For the past 8 months all I can bring myself to do is watch TV and wait until it's time to go to sleep. I don't seem to get invited to much these days as most of my friends do 'kids' things during the day and don't go out in the evenings when I'm free.

I feel very lost, alone and scared. So very scared.

2 replies

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In response to: Fearful and lonely

Re: Fearful and lonely

I seriously could have written this post about 3 years ago. Id just ended another long term relationship, my third all of which i gave ended and subsequently lost all my friends each time. Iv since met someone and had a baby. I too "have it all". The house, degree, career and now the child and you know what??? Im still not happy. Because my child wakes every couple of hours even though they are two, my house is a mess, iv put on 20kg comfort eating. I love love love my child but suddenly i find myself pining for those days where i could be selfish and care free. I don't mean to depress you, what iv learnt is that i need to be happy in myself and people and things aren't cutting it. I havw depression, and anxiety which almost killed me postnatally. I hope you meet someone wonderful soon. Your friends will resurface after the kids get a bit older. Just keep inviting them to things or dropping around. With wine and food 😜

In response to: Fearful and lonely

Re: Fearful and lonely

Thank you so much Princessmolly
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