What to do

HI @B45 it sounds like things are pretty rough for you at the moment. It can be hard trying to explain anxiety to others. I have a diagnosis of anxiety as well and as best I can put it I find it's something " you don't get-until you get it" meaning that it is often hard for others to truly appreciate what people with anxiety disorders go through-sometimes just to get through their day. Men can also tend to approach things with a " fix-it" attitude and it sounds like your husband being as logical as you say he is, may have trouble with the concept of something he can't fix. Is there anyone else in your life that you can talk to? a trusted friend or family member?

Thanks @Former-Member No other family members but I do have 1 good friend who has lived through anxiety. That's the thing, he doesn't like things he doesn't understand or fix. I don't like talking about him like this but I wish he was more supportive. I do feel secure & safe with him.

Hi @B45,

I'm hearing that you would like more support while you're working through anxiety. I'm glad you're reaching out to the Forums community

I can understand how you would feel upset that your husband hasn't been able to give you the support you would like. There are a couple of things you could do in this situation: either chat to your husband about wanting more support, and/or reach out to others for support - it's always good to have a range of support people, as one person cannot meet all our needs!

If you did want to talk to your husband, you may want to use the assertiveness formula, which is comprised of four statements:

1. When you ... [the behaviour that upsets you]
2. I feel ... [the emotional impact it has on you]
3. Can we ... [suggest action, e.g. having a discussion about the issue]
4. So that ... [say why this is important to you, e.g. so we feel more connected]

This can be a useful way to discuss tricky issues. If you decide to give it a go I'd be interested to hear if you find it useful!

In terms of building up your support network, I'm glad that you have one friend you can talk to. I'm wondering whether you would find it helpful to link in with support services as well? Here are a couple you may find useful:

• Anxiety Recovery Centre OCD & Anxiety HelpLine: 1300 269 438 (Mon-Fri 10am-4pm AEST)
• Relationships Australia: 1300 364 277

I'm not sure whether you are linked in with a face-to-face counsellor too? It might help to have someone to talk to.

@B45, you mentioned that sometimes you feel suicidal. It's really important that you have someone to talk to about this to make a plan to keep yourself safe. The Forums are not a crisis service, but here are a couple of 24/7 phone and online chat services with whom you can discuss your suicidal feelings:

• Suicide Call Back Service: 1300 659 467
• Lifeline: 13 11 14

@B45 I hope this information is helpful, keep filling us in on how you are going as you figure out what to do.

Take care,

Shimmer

Thanks so much @Shimmer & @utopia for your replies. I do see a great counsellor & am planning to bring hubby to a session. I feel sort of stable at rhe minute & I think possibly cause I'm telling myself to be in the wise mind. I also had a chat with hubby this morning & found out more about the issue he is dealing with. In regards to the counsellor I find it's between visits things come up but I guess that is where the good friend comes in. I also find Lifeline can be helpful.