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Hello everyone, I'm new to the forums. I suppose the appeal for me is that this is anonymous and I can reach out to others in similar situations. So I'll share wirh you my recent struggles with Depression which almost cost me my life. Ten weeks ago my life changed forever when I saw no other option but to drive my car into a tree at 100KMH. I sustained multiple injuries including broken ribs, lacerations to my liver, splean and two broken legs. To be honest it's a miracle I'm still alive - I'm so very grareful. I spent 8 long weeks in hospital and rehab. Thankfully I'm on the road to recovery now and my outlook on life remains positive. I'll admit it wasn't easy to get to this point, but I've made it. I would love to hear your stories and just chat.
@Grateful90. It's been just over two years for me. Several things happened that weekend, my uncle (N.Z) passed with Alzheimers, my horrific argument with in-laws, hubby left to go to work. With every thing that happened, unfortunately, I never gave my kids a thought. That sounds unbelievably selfish, but I wasn't thinking right. They have totally forgiven and nothing has been said. They were devastated, but both of them asked my ex why he just left me, how he didn't understand how low and bad I felt. My ex is a selfish self-absorbed person, he told my kids that he just 'didn't think'. They did have the row to end all rows while I was unconscious. Since we parted, my kids refuse to even recognize him. They don't 'blame' him, so much as can't believe how blind one person who professes to love another could be.
In response to: Re: Reaching out
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Reaching out
Footnote, beautiful, fine and sunny here, it was supposed to be raining and cold. The weather didn't hear the forecast.
In response to: Re: Reaching out
Unknown userMember
Re: Reaching out
Hi @Grateful90,
i just realised the first time I tried was 3 years ago today. I tried to pretend it didn't happen and that it was an accident. The next few times I tried Russian roulette so it would look unplanned. I'm still not passed it but getting closer to that point I think. After a while I regretted that I survived and I have often wished I didn't make it. But I'm still here and trying to do the best I can for now. Sorry I guess I'm in a bit of a weird and reflective mood as I write this. I'm really glad you've survived, it sounds like it's been a horrendous experience but one where you can begin a new life again. Wishing you all the best. 💜😊
In response to: Re: Reaching out
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Reaching out
@Former-Member. While I was in hospital re-cooperating from my attempt, I remember begging the suicide watch nurse to let me go. I did regret surviving at first, but somehow I realized it wasn't 'my time' yet. It sounds as though you're still in a 'dark' place emotionally. Do you have some really close friends you can call on. When we have the dark clouds of depression constantly there, it gets harder to lift them. If you are still in the 'dark' please call lifeline or Beyond Blue. Both places have counsellors ready to listen, support and guide. Beyond Blue did save me, I was still lost and lonely after I came home. I blamed me for my marriage going pear-shaped. I self-blamed for all the things that had happened to me. Lifeline and BB were amazing, both organizations helped me realize and understand that my bad choices were not my fault. I'd had no guidance or role-model when I was growing up, so choosing life's partners was not my strong point. Then, by pure miraculous chance I was offered a volunteer job and that was the turning point. Through my volunteer job I found I had uses, I was needed. I have since found love again. I had to reach out, though. That is the hardest part, the knowledge that I had to reach out, if no-one knows you, how can they help you. You have to make the first move. Extremely hard, but possible. I wish you all the best is finding you and your strength. Please, make the first step, call BB or lifeline. Once you make the first move, you will never feel lonely again. Help is available, reach out. .
In response to: Re: Reaching out
Unknown userMember
Re: Reaching out
Thanks @pip.
I have a good therapist currently and she has given me the most hope so far and reason to hold on. I'm working on it. I used to ring BB and lifeline a bit but haven't for a while now. I found Suicide call back the best service for me personally. Sorry to read your story too. Sometimes things just build until something gives way and unfortunately sometimes it is us. Most of my attempt was over a relationship and the day I did I saw my GP who didn't read where I was at and refused a medical certificate because he thought I needed to get over everything. I'm sure he didn't mean to be the one to finally push me over but that and one other thing that day and I snapped but I'd been planning it for months. I do have more hope now than I've had for the past three years but there is not a week go by that I don't think of it, some weeks there's not a day that goes by with out thinking about it. But thinking about it and doing it are two different things. Anyway enough gloom. I hope your night is going well. I wish you all best. 💜😊
In response to: Reaching out
angel_wingsContributor
Re: Reaching out
I am so sad to hear your story, yet so happy you survived and got a second chance. I was very close to doing the same thing last year. I sat in my car in the heat of summer for almost 5 hrs knowing if I turned those keys that would be it. I guess we are both still here for a reason. Pls pls take care of yourself x
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