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Something’s not right

An Absence...

An Absence...

I've neglected to join or answer posts the last couple days. I really haven't felt like it, as my demons are taking up so much space in my mind that there's not much room for anything else. PTSD, Anxiety, Depression in all its glory and faucets...

Now one of my Mental Health nurses knows my most recent issues and that things are getting worse.

She sent my psychiatrist a long email today and hopefully my psych will read through it tomorrow once home from holidays tomorrow. Methinks my first Admission is imminent.

Yes I'm safe at home right this moment...but I will be much safer once admitted to the private hosp. I have been in and out of since 2012.

I'm not expecting anything from posting this, guess I'm just making an appearance to say "I'm here...life sucks...I'm getting good help and will be okay... Haven't forgotten about you all..."

Anyway, I did bake some cupcakes from a sugar-free recipe...yummy!

And that is all. Sorry.......

13 replies

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In response to: An Absence...

Re: An Absence...

Hi @ButterflyWings

Sending lots of thoughts your way today 💙 It sounds like you have a good professional support network around you at the moment, and have the hospital there to support you should you need it.

Recognising what you need and taking a break from the forums for a few days to look after yourself is always okay- you have friends here with open hearts ready to support you at the times when you need someone to lean on

In response to: An Absence...

Re: An Absence...

"first Admission" for This Year, is what I meant to type.

It turns out that an event I had convinced myself had happed 30-odd years ago, actually didn't happen TO me or my family. No trauma from an event, just an anxious mind reacting to news items and things I have seen and can't do anything about.

So basically I'm living one big delusional lie. Makes me feel soooooooooooo good about myself, as if I need any assistance to feel hatred towards myself. Psych not avail. til Monday so just have to "wear it" til then. I've worn my own eggagerated delusions all my life so what's a few more days.

At least my nurse followed up with me like she said she would.

I really want to yell a particular swear-word long and loudly into the atmosphere right now. On a slightly humorous note, if I did do that outside right now, no one would hear me over the hailstorms! Maybe sitting in the rain in my undies would help? Might settle for washing my face in cold water and then an ice pack for a similar effect without the noise...and risk of being struck by lightning...

So low and so angry at my younger self for making up such a horrible story and telling everyone about it forever more! We'll, now she can finally shut up.

In response to: Re: An Absence...

Re: An Absence...

@ButterflyWings

11 - 13 of 13