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Today I received an email from a friend. She has been visiting and communicating for a while now. She was told she does not have a mental illness and no longer wants to stay in touch!!!!!this seems to be the story of my life and I don't know why. I am always careful not to pour out my problem and try to,listen, but I always end up alone. I have been used and abused all my life, these seem to be the only people I attract. As I find it terribly hard to make friends this has hit me hard and driven me further into my cocoon. I feel hopeless.
Oh @Maggie. I'm so sorry this has happened to you. Maybe this is not about you but about her thinking she wants to distance herself from mental illness and thereby anyone who has one. This thinking is wrong but I suspect because of the stigma with MI it is a possibility. There are others on the forum that have experienced similar to you. Please don't lose faith in you, you haven't done anything wrong. Thinking of you😊💜
In response to: Guttered
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
@Maggie. That is so sad, perhaps as Teej said, it is more about her being unsure about MI. With MI, the more stigma attached the more attaches. Fear of the unknown, fear of 'catching' something. Perhaps give some time for her to realize MI is not catching, maybe, eventually contact her like nothing has happened, she may then realize that the fear is groundless. Trying to explain MI is like trying to teach someone a foreign language, fear is the main thing that closes the mind.
In response to: Guttered
utopiaSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
@Maggie. I'm sorry your friend did this to you. It's not right and it really does hurt. It can make you feel like you have done something wrong. But it's more than likely that she has the problem not you. Although it still hurts. Before I has MI, I was always of the thought, "there but for the grace of god go I". My dad suffered for many years without help. I could see how easy MI could happen to anyone. I'm sorry your friend doesn't see this. And yes there are people without MI's that tend to avoid us. But they miss out on knowing some pretty amazing creative generous people. Maybe we need more education in the wider community.
In response to: Re: Guttered
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
Thank you Teej. I let my guard down as she had an assessment coming up and I wanted to help. I have learned. I didn't see this coming. I will be extra careful, but I already thought I was. Take care
In response to: Re: Guttered
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
She has a mother and son with schitzonephrnia so should have some idea. Maybe fear for herself is different. I did think MI was more understood these days. She does have depression and anxiety which in my understanding are mental illness. Oh dear.
In response to: Re: Guttered
MaggieSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
I guess because a psych told her she does not have a mental illness she was relieved, I guess I would be too. I have gone over our time together looking for where I went wrong, what could I have done differently. Honestly, I don't know. I did listen to her, cared as much as I could. I will be more careful in future. I think the forum is the safest way to go. Thanks for your encouragement.
In response to: Re: Guttered
pipSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
@Maggie. It sounds as though your friend has been caring for MI in the family and perhaps is worn out emotionally. There is nothing you have done or not done. Perhaps your friend just needs 'time out' to self care. You're right about depression/anxiety being a part of MI. Try to overlook the rebuff and let her know you would still like to be a friend. Schizophrenia is pretty full-on, often the person with the illness fights against taking AD's. They are 'told' by the voices they hear that the AD's are destructive and not to take them. Your friend does have a lot on her plate. If, eventually, she contacts you, accept her friendship and let her talk. She sounds overloaded and tired. It could be too, even though you probably haven't said anything, she could be a bit scared. With everything she has going on, she needs nurturing. I'm sorry this has happened to you, we all need people. I feel it for both of you. Perhaps she is just not 'right' for you at this time.
In response to: Guttered
MoonGalSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
sorry @Maggie, hope you find somenice connections here, its a safe (ish) place.
In response to: Guttered
LadyLover62Casual Contributor
Re: Guttered
Sorry @ Maggie for you eroded trust with friendships once again. I firmly believe this is the friends lesson not yours. Every person that crosses our pathways, does for a reason, mostly unknown at the time. However, you may have in fact taught her so many things in the time that you had known her and totally unaware of your guiding influence. But trust that you have helped in some form and move forward not jilted or sad but proud that you were there when she needed someone. Your time will come
In response to: Re: Guttered
TABSenior Contributor
Re: Guttered
@Maggie .. most people don't know re if someone 'is' or 'isn't' or are the 'same' in some way.. 'labels' can be a problem for some people .. that's a big thing for a 'friend' to put on you. No fair. Abuse of trust maybe, you didn't need to be around them anyway, sounds
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sorry 
