Feeling Abandoned.

@MissD99

Emergency hug coming your way 💙

Family can be so hurtful. And the pain isvfelr so deep. Maybe because they are 'part of us' - our identity as a human. Coming to terms with them NOT loving us, or treating us as equally valued & important & relevant... When they're not there for us... it hurts so much. And so deeply. Our inner child feels like our world has been shattered, and feels like it's all been a lie, our very existence, sense of belonging rocked to the core... 💔 it's heart breaking and I feel it with you. My mum did a death will in secret, and my Bro2 blurts its inout at mevin front of others "you've been cut out of the will you know!" My hurtheart sank, it didn't make sense as I was caring for mum 24/7 at home before she went to palliative care... It took a week to get a copy of the will and learn that I wasn't 'cut out' but what he was referring to was my mum appointed him as 'sole executor' (totally twisted misuse of the role). Poor mum was heavily medicated att, 4days before her passing, it was a lot to take in... but what hit hardest was this attitude from siblings that THEY wanted me out of the picture 💔😢 Gosh it hurt, still does at times (three years later), the grief waves from it all still throw me into an intense suicidal tailspin at times Not good! It hurts, I get it! And feel deeply with you. To feel 'singled out: like that, by people who once love you and shaped your world... Messes with our head I know it well... you are not alone.

A cousin of mine went through this when his dad died... he was the oldest of four and it caused a huge rift among siblings to this day. A terrible legacy to leave behind. The reasoning behind his fathers decision was becausse of his drug use and the asdu

'Primal therapy'.

Hi @MissD99 I'm so sorry for your loss. That sounds like a really tough situation to be dealing with on top of everything else. In terms of psychologists, that's really frustrating a lot of them are booked out! Have you thought of asking to be put on a cancellation list? Otherwise, you could try booking a call with a counsellor at Sane's Help Centre if you feel like this will be helpful or there are also services like Lifeline (13 11 14) if you're in need of more urgent/ immediate support. Of course, you're also more than welcome to keep posting and seeking support from the members here. Sending virtual hugs 🤗🤗 and know that we're here with you as you navigate this rough and rocky road 💜

@MissD99 Welcome.

I’m sorry you lost your mum, and for the feelings of abandonment you are left with because of the will. I think I would feel the same.

Sending you a warm hug. Rejection from parents is really tough.

Take care.

Hi @MissD99

I am so sorry to hear how your family has treated you - I actually read this earlier and took time to think how to reply - I know what it feels like

But the way your mother and other family members have treated you is no reflection on you - in fact - the way they cast you off when you were ill is an indictment upon them - and it makes them look bad in fact but yes - I know - esp having your mother cut you out of her will - it's really sad

You certainly could be helped by a psychologist - it might be necessary to get yourself onto their waiting lists - or even go further afield to find one. We are a peer support group here and we can a lot about each other and support each other - however we are not professionals - though we certainly have the lived experience to share

Also - although it costs a lot of money to see a solicitor if there are a lot of assets involved in your mother's estate is would be worth it. Wills can be and are challenged - and it's really appalling that your mother cut you out -

You don't have to be loved by your family to be a fine person - it is sad and lonely at times - we all need to find our own way as adults and seeing a psychologist could help you find your way -

We certainly will try here and I would like to welcome you are a new contributor

You are most welcome

Dec