Just want to get myself better

Hi, my name is Zac and I'm 26 and I have struggled with anxiety and depression . This is my first time ever writing in a fourm my story is that I once was very happy in my life friends, girlfriend I had a job and used to skateboard film and do lots of fun things. But one by one I made mistakes that led to the loss of my job girlfriend at the time and friends who I thought I trusted stab me in the back. I beat myself up alot about all the stupid stuff I did in my life and now to this day my anxiety has gotten so bad that I've been unable to push myself to leave the house it's been close to 3 months since I was able to walk down the road or get in a car without getting massive panic attacks. I'm trying not to give up hope but i can't seem to help me bounce back to where I once was I am seeing a therapist and due to take medication soon Ive been putting it off, hopefully I can make improvements for 2021 thanks for listening