Chronic Depression

@Tuxmagic Ugh bullying is just an awful thing to be subjected to, I'm really sorry this is happening to you and I'm glad you've been able to reach out for support.

Is the bullying still happening? If you're able to talk about what's going on, please do. There's a whole community here ready to give you support, just talk us through what's going on if you can,

Are you continuing to see a psychologist? And how long have you been taking medication? Are the suicidal thoughts new since starting medication?

I have been put on antidepressant medication. The bullying is continuing from another member of the community. I understand I did some wrong things in retaliation to the bullying and this has got me in a bad predicament.

I struggle to get up out of bed every day because of this and its led me to have suicidal thoughts I have also become socially withdrawn.

I am currently seeing GP psychologist and psychiatrist however they have exhausted their strategies and I am still struggling.

They have said I have no psychotic diagnosis and judgement is intact however I am suffering major depressive disorder. I have had low mood for close to 6 months now and have been bullied by a builder for past 2 years.

@Tuxmagic I received an email with your response but can see the post has been removed--assuming censorship for whatever reason.

We all make mistakes and it's hard to maintain a rational position when you're feeling threatened, it's ok you acted out in response to the bullying, the important thing is that you've recognised where you went wrong. If it's at all possible to let this person know you regret your actions, it might open up a channel to sort your differences. Is this situation the same or different to the builder you're referring to? Is the builder someone you work with?

Your GP and psychologist should be able to provide ongoing support, even if it's just to check in and let them know things are still sh*t. You don't have to stick with the psychologist you've seen, you can do a google search and find someone else if you want to. Your GP should be able to send on a referral for you. Ongoing support is really important, and especially if you are taking medication and having suicidal thoughts.

You've done well to get to this point and made a great choice in reaching out for support.

I do not work with the builder. I was a client and he had ripped off my family. I fell into a state of depression and anxiety and did some stupid things after he abused me, bullied me.

I went off the rails as I was hurting so much inside that I reacted the wrong way after the bullying. I am remourseful for my retaliation but that doesn't change my predicament.

I have been feeling so low and unable to function day to day with the fear.

@Tuxmagic

You made some mistakes by retaliating. You have admitted that and have taken responsibility. Bullies very rarely admit they have done anything wrong. You are a few steps ahead of this builder. A few facts about bullies. Underneath their apparent power and control, these individuals are weak, fearful and very insecure within themselves. Their out ward demeanour looks the opposite, buy their behaviour reflects the aforementioned.

One way I can suggest confronting a bully of this sort and under the reasons you have stated is to write a professional later to him personally. I would email to keep a record. There is a sit called Airtadker.

So many people there with different skills. You can post a task with your budget anf then pick anyone who applies. Read carefully, check people out and take care.

@Tuxmagic If the builder "ripped off" your family, is it worth discussing it with a lawyer? If you're feeling trapped after what happened, it might be the way to go. You can't change what's happened or how you responded, you can only change what you do now. While you might feel you acted out of character in response to their behaviour, try to take comfort in knowing you're aware of how you behaved and you feel remorse. We can't do things differently if we aren't self aware, and a lot of people aren't. Do things differently now and talk about your situation with a lawyer. Get some solid legal advice so you can get yourself out of the corner you've been backed in to.

The builder has been taken to the building commission and also the magistrates court. The builder has ignored all building commission orders and court orders. Unfortunately he knows how to ride the system.

Hi @Tuxmagic,

It sounds like a horrible experience. It would be exhausting feeling so much anxiety when you leave for work. Have you spoken to anyone about what you've been going through day in and day out?

I am sorry that you don't feel safe in your own home. Home is the place where we need to feel safe - our haven. Is there anything you can do to feel a bit safer at home?

We are here for you, please keep reaching out.

Thinking of you.

tropicalsun