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What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

2020 started where 2019 ended - I had a job and i had a broad plan for what 2020 would entail. I secured an internship and managed to get a full month off work for a job I could go back to.
I was making gains.


My internship started in Feb and went for about 1.5 weeks until it had to be cancelled because of roof leakages causing a huge issue with building stability. The internship was both unpaid and full time. They said to me that it would need to be completed from home. It wasn't possible for me to do all of that from home but I managed to finish off a research project nevertheless. My supervisor happily said he would give me a reference and thanked me for my work ethic.

In March I went back to work. In the first few weeks the coronavirus spread like wildfire in Sydney and yet I was still required to go to work. Due to scheduling and work vacancies I was placed at a work station which required more of me than normal. This was only for me because I didn't know what to do and people would have to train me. People there didn't like this. I pressed on. By months end I was offered a permanent role at work after completing an interview which took 3 hours as they split the entire thing up. April and May saw me back in a work station where I knew what to do unassisted. This was beneficial. I grew slightly bored with it though. I was also not seeing friends due to the coronavirus lockdown. This didn't help my MH. Gym was also shut and therefore I couldn't work out and take better care of myself.

June saw me back at the same place as I was at in March. It was hell. I hated it by the end of the first day back. I managed to press on through and I managed to do so with my colleagues reluctantly teaching me things. There was a new person there but she managed to know everything even though i had been an employ for longer. I was annoyed as it made me look stupid and incompetent - which of course i knew wasn't the case. I took the last week there off and never went back as my patience and tolerance was wearing thin. The lockdown was still going and I hadn't seen friends in ages. At this stage in my life it was work. Walks on the weekend and nothing more.

July started and I took that month off due to my health. I rested up and came within a knifes edge of quitting my job. I remember getting upset with myself as I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I reasoned it would be best to go back and at least last til the end of August. Well here I am now in December and I still have the job.

August came by and I was taught at work. New things. But not everything I needed to know. But it was an improvement. The people I was working with were new because I was somewhere I had not been before. Lockdown had ended and I saw friends again. People had changed. Things had changed.

September and October were the same to me and I was moving about with regard to work. November I moved once then came back. December is here now and then there is today when I'm writing this.

You're probably seeing a theme here - work. A lot of my challenges in life came from this area. It would often depend upon where and with whom I worked as to its affect on my MH. I think this is because it was always a source of discontent for me for so long ever since I was diagnosed with MH.

Perhaps something that really bugged me was that I spoke to a girl on a dating app for a while. But she had to move up the coast as she lost her job and residency. this really bummed me out. It hit me. Perhaps more so after about the 3rd month. I feel something could have happened... but it did not due to fate. Cruel fate. I think fate does this to all of us from time to time. She has basically ignored me now and I think I have finally let go of that story. I know she had her own MH issues. But perhaps we all did in 2020.

Here i am now in December and yesterday work was easy. Too easy maybe. I applied for the next pay grade up after two colleagues recommended it. I didn't get past the first hurdle. Oh well. I nearly went on a date yesterday. But didn't as she was too worried about covid. Oh well. I lost some friends this year because I didn't contact them. Oh well. I learned that I am very tolerant of people's bad behaviour. Oh well.

I guess I have learned to rejig my mindfulness approach to my own life. Things that were important to me that should not have been are now no longer mattering to me. Things that are important that were things I ignored are integrated into me now.

Today I have done my Christmas shopping and I am proud of the thought that I have put into my presents for my immediate family members. They are the ones I have spent most of my year with. We are getting on by.

Some things only begin to start to make sense in time. Prior to that such things are a mystery.

With all that this year has held for many of us I am a lot more spiritual than I ever was. I used to be religious, but I guess I am spiritual now. Fair to say we’ve all had a rotten year in many ways and as time has gone by this year I’m learning just how much things can go wrong…

I was also thinking of those who spent the holiday period on their own. I feel for them but I also think things like this forum are a great way for people to connect too.

I am looking at meeting new friends next year as some people have dropped off the radar and I have had my own issues in that regard - actively avoiding some people because of what they do and how they behave.

Maybe this has come about through age and as I get older and wiser I am no longer interested in the same things I once was at an earlier point. Maybe I have grown. I think I need to be more patient with myself and also with other people too.

I guess I just want 2021 to be better than this year. I will need to look into further study and specifically in business. That seems to be the best option for me thus far. Innovation and risk are interesting so I will research more into them in the coming days. I've also organised to try to catch up with one or two people as I like them and want them in my circles of social life.

I will also change my user name on here to reflect some change in me - It'll be a simple change so I will still be recoginisable.

Anyway. That does it for today's reflection. I started this earlir in the week but saved it in draft as you can probably tell by what I was talking about before christmas.

Thanks all

Hams out

2134 replies

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In response to: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

In response to: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

A bad day

@Judi9877 @Shaz51 @TAB @Bunniekins @BlueBay @Meowmy @Appleblossom @frog @eth @Angels333 @Owlunar @Former-Member @Jacques @Former-Member @Maggie @Eve7 @DJMasters @BPDSurvivor @oceangirl @WIP @Schitzo @Emelia8 @Clawde

Plan A was to go to my place of work as expected. I did. I get there and three people ask me if I will be going elsewhere. Because of the workload expected. Put simply, we finished much much earlier than anticipated. I was then expected to go to another place. I did.
Then I get word about 3 hours later than I am expected back where I started. Why? Because my colleague refused to go back. Then she makes up a story to try and pull the wool over my eyes. Pathetic. Absolutely pathetic. I was so fed up with the entire thing.

I made an appointment with my boss. I WAS going to speak to him about it. But I thought why not let this slip under the bridge as water. Easy. Rather I used that chance to talk about boosting my hours maybe and seeing what my options were - which was an option on the table a few weeks ago that had escaped my mind.

He offered me two solutions. First, I increase to 4 days and run the risk of returning to a place that I have major issues with. Second option, I go to full time. Full time means full time. No doubts about it.

I did some thinking about it all and came to the conclusion that full time is not an option now. Not happening.

I have been f*cked over too much. I am not here to put up with other people's BS. I deserve more in life and better opportunities.

Then of course the whole "I am 27 and don't know anything and feel like a loser" kicked in. Well now I don't care about it. I have resigned to the following:

1) That at this stage I will likely not find a soulmate or partner because women want guys who are stable and organised. I am struggling with both at the age of 27. I still fit into the "loser" category. At the end of the day that's just a perspective people may have on me but I don't care.

2) I am deserving of love and yet probably won't find it because of the way my generation operates now.

3) My chances of going anywhere I actually would want to go are gone too.

4) I've spent too much time in the "wilderness" and it's time that stopped.

5) I am resigned to the fact that if I can't figure out these things in the next 2 years then all hope is gone and I am stuck with whatever I do at 29.

6) I don't matter.

That's genuinely how I felt earlier today and I think some part of that is still true right now as I type this out

My new resolution is to go all in.

Just start carpet bombing my CV and resume to get me the hell out of what I am doing now.

Start upping the ante on what I write. Force myself to do it maybe

Shatter the image of myself as meak and gentle - which I don't think I have - but I need to shatter it at a deeper level or else I am stuck thinking bad thoughts about myself. I have been through things and I am on a journey. It's still going

I am trying my best but it's coming with a hint of sadness

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

You've got to get over stuff @MDT
As you said it was a bad Day.
Why it was bad , well thats subjective.
Yes All in good idea
So is Resilience .
Chill. El Hamsarino

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Hi @MDT I can feel the hint of sadness in your post. But I can also see you recognising the negative script kicking in and have ideas about how to move forward. Sometimes I see the same things in myself. I have very down days when I feel hopeless. At the moment I'm trying not to get carried away and just recognise it's a feeling that will lift, hopefully soon.

I get that you think some part of those heavy thoughts you were resigned to earlier are based on truth and I'm not going to counter and invalidate your experience. However, I believe that they are not all that you are by a long shot. There are counterarguments to them too. And man you do matter. You are a valued part of this community, and beyond. Sometimes you never know the impact that you're having on others but I believe that we all have the capacity for a positive impact. You are well on the way there. Take it easy on yourself.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Hi @TAB @frog and thank you for your help and advice both of you

I just worry is all and I feel like a loser.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

So why would you feel like a loser? Okay cos you added 'everything else that's bothering me' to work gripes ....
Hams is making problems. .. for Hams ..
Old Saying. Don't look for trouble when there isn't any 🤐... @MDT

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

This part I guess @TAB

Idk man.....

Then of course the whole "I am 27 and don't know anything and feel like a loser" kicked in. Well now I don't care about it. I have resigned to the following:

1) That at this stage I will likely not find a soulmate or partner because women want guys who are stable and organised. I am struggling with both at the age of 27. I still fit into the "loser" category. At the end of the day that's just a perspective people may have on me but I don't care.

2) I am deserving of love and yet probably won't find it because of the way my generation operates now.

3) My chances of going anywhere I actually would want to go are gone too.

4) I've spent too much time in the "wilderness" and it's time that stopped.

5) I am resigned to the fact that if I can't figure out these things in the next 2 years then all hope is gone and I am stuck with whatever I do at 29.

6) I don't matter.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

All of which has nothing directly to do with a bad day at work
Ask yourself what actually happened maybe?
What was your response? I dont like myself? Prob not related.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Not directly no @TAB
Just a shite show. A really big one.
Anyways I'll head off now. Might be on later. Didn't go to gym. Too tired and angry. Can go tomorrow. More important things to figure out.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Not your fault re what happened at work Hams @MDT ok get your pipe and violin for figuring lolz
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