FORUMS

Connect with people who understand what you are going through, seek advice and surround yourself with support. We're free, anonymous, and professionally moderated 24/7.

  • 47,612Members
  • 1,358,869Posts
  • 1,400,000Visitors
Our stories

What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

2020 started where 2019 ended - I had a job and i had a broad plan for what 2020 would entail. I secured an internship and managed to get a full month off work for a job I could go back to.
I was making gains.


My internship started in Feb and went for about 1.5 weeks until it had to be cancelled because of roof leakages causing a huge issue with building stability. The internship was both unpaid and full time. They said to me that it would need to be completed from home. It wasn't possible for me to do all of that from home but I managed to finish off a research project nevertheless. My supervisor happily said he would give me a reference and thanked me for my work ethic.

In March I went back to work. In the first few weeks the coronavirus spread like wildfire in Sydney and yet I was still required to go to work. Due to scheduling and work vacancies I was placed at a work station which required more of me than normal. This was only for me because I didn't know what to do and people would have to train me. People there didn't like this. I pressed on. By months end I was offered a permanent role at work after completing an interview which took 3 hours as they split the entire thing up. April and May saw me back in a work station where I knew what to do unassisted. This was beneficial. I grew slightly bored with it though. I was also not seeing friends due to the coronavirus lockdown. This didn't help my MH. Gym was also shut and therefore I couldn't work out and take better care of myself.

June saw me back at the same place as I was at in March. It was hell. I hated it by the end of the first day back. I managed to press on through and I managed to do so with my colleagues reluctantly teaching me things. There was a new person there but she managed to know everything even though i had been an employ for longer. I was annoyed as it made me look stupid and incompetent - which of course i knew wasn't the case. I took the last week there off and never went back as my patience and tolerance was wearing thin. The lockdown was still going and I hadn't seen friends in ages. At this stage in my life it was work. Walks on the weekend and nothing more.

July started and I took that month off due to my health. I rested up and came within a knifes edge of quitting my job. I remember getting upset with myself as I had no idea what I was doing with myself. I reasoned it would be best to go back and at least last til the end of August. Well here I am now in December and I still have the job.

August came by and I was taught at work. New things. But not everything I needed to know. But it was an improvement. The people I was working with were new because I was somewhere I had not been before. Lockdown had ended and I saw friends again. People had changed. Things had changed.

September and October were the same to me and I was moving about with regard to work. November I moved once then came back. December is here now and then there is today when I'm writing this.

You're probably seeing a theme here - work. A lot of my challenges in life came from this area. It would often depend upon where and with whom I worked as to its affect on my MH. I think this is because it was always a source of discontent for me for so long ever since I was diagnosed with MH.

Perhaps something that really bugged me was that I spoke to a girl on a dating app for a while. But she had to move up the coast as she lost her job and residency. this really bummed me out. It hit me. Perhaps more so after about the 3rd month. I feel something could have happened... but it did not due to fate. Cruel fate. I think fate does this to all of us from time to time. She has basically ignored me now and I think I have finally let go of that story. I know she had her own MH issues. But perhaps we all did in 2020.

Here i am now in December and yesterday work was easy. Too easy maybe. I applied for the next pay grade up after two colleagues recommended it. I didn't get past the first hurdle. Oh well. I nearly went on a date yesterday. But didn't as she was too worried about covid. Oh well. I lost some friends this year because I didn't contact them. Oh well. I learned that I am very tolerant of people's bad behaviour. Oh well.

I guess I have learned to rejig my mindfulness approach to my own life. Things that were important to me that should not have been are now no longer mattering to me. Things that are important that were things I ignored are integrated into me now.

Today I have done my Christmas shopping and I am proud of the thought that I have put into my presents for my immediate family members. They are the ones I have spent most of my year with. We are getting on by.

Some things only begin to start to make sense in time. Prior to that such things are a mystery.

With all that this year has held for many of us I am a lot more spiritual than I ever was. I used to be religious, but I guess I am spiritual now. Fair to say we’ve all had a rotten year in many ways and as time has gone by this year I’m learning just how much things can go wrong…

I was also thinking of those who spent the holiday period on their own. I feel for them but I also think things like this forum are a great way for people to connect too.

I am looking at meeting new friends next year as some people have dropped off the radar and I have had my own issues in that regard - actively avoiding some people because of what they do and how they behave.

Maybe this has come about through age and as I get older and wiser I am no longer interested in the same things I once was at an earlier point. Maybe I have grown. I think I need to be more patient with myself and also with other people too.

I guess I just want 2021 to be better than this year. I will need to look into further study and specifically in business. That seems to be the best option for me thus far. Innovation and risk are interesting so I will research more into them in the coming days. I've also organised to try to catch up with one or two people as I like them and want them in my circles of social life.

I will also change my user name on here to reflect some change in me - It'll be a simple change so I will still be recoginisable.

Anyway. That does it for today's reflection. I started this earlir in the week but saved it in draft as you can probably tell by what I was talking about before christmas.

Thanks all

Hams out

2134 replies

1,201 - 1,210 of 2,134

In response to: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Hey @Owlunar

Once again you make some astute points. I think I need to believe in my own nature more yeah. Patience as well. I said to my mum over the weekend or today I can't remember... that patience is something is I always think of. How much more patience do I need? How much more patience is required? How much more patience do I have to show or display? Questions like these..

Idk my friend. Its a weird road to be on. But its my road. And maybe that's just how it is.

You know when I was religious and went to church they used to say "be in the world but not of it" and I think I am going to start taking that approach to work "be at work but not in it"

The knowledge that i am trying is one thing to get courage from, but to feel it for real is another altogether

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

@MDT

It was a great post about aligning with your deeper self and establishing a base line you are comfortable with.

Getting paid at one's credentials is not a given in today's society. Education is pushed as the answer but its only part of it, there are less secure jobs.

Removing rose coloured glasses about human nature is somethng I need to do and develop a better sense of what to expect from others. I never had the opportunity to talk to my mother about work, she was only interested in the money I brought home. Sad but true. Nor could I talk to her about school. It is important as a young person to have that support.

Thanks for tag

Apple

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Yeah @Appleblossom
I agree. Its hard and its not a given. I wish people understood that.

Today I had a bit of a problem when I saw people who are fresh out of high school now working next to me 😞

Doesn't help. But what I can do about it i have no idea.

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Not your business plus not theirs re high school kids just take the money you might end up with no job if try to do something else. @MDT

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Yeah @TAB
Tried to have some small talk. Went alright at least. Gotta count for something i guess. Then a weird exchange with someone. Idk old mate tabs.

Struggling but getting on by. Need a guitar to play a blues song maybe

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

not everyone wants to talk or might question your motives for 'talk' best to leave 'talk' just to work matters as much as possible esp if seems uncomfortable. Best to leave it. @MDT

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Sometimes we need to practise Detachment and other times Connection. None of it is a given, tho some say "of course" a lot ....

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

People are woerd in my workplace
Thats all I can conclude.
Had a conversation with someone in the lfit I hadn't seen for some time

Now that I think of it I must have a reputation for just doing my job. Idk
Best not to dwell.

One step at a time

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Patience and courage @MDT - these are so hard to define - and what wonderful questions

Courage is easier - I can say through my life my moments of courage have been the greatest when I have felt it the least. Like something we all face - dental work - I had to take myself into the city to the Dental Hospital for what turned out to be unsuccessful root canal work - scared every Tuesday for however long still I went alone - and on the last visit I was told it would have to have the tooth extracted - I went downstairs feeling ill and terrified.

Being afraid and doing it - that's courage - and of course at the time - we can't feel it at all - and it's scary

But - then - back in the distant past when we could fly interstate I did so often - I met people even in business class who were afraid - I wasn't. I even took a helicopter out over the Great Barrier Reef - not a moment of worry - I was so excited. Twice I have flown across Bass Strait in a small plane. That isn't courage at all - unless it's to grab a chance to be different and act on it.

Ah patience - I intend to lift your sentence - I like it so much

You wrote

that patience is something is I always think of. How much more patience do I need? How much more patience is required? How much more patience do I have to show or display? Questions like these..

I could strain my brain over these questions - and I think I will - I never thought about patience in those terms before, For now I will ask - if you are wondering how much more patience you need, how much more is required, how much to you have to show or display - it has become a strain on your spirit. Are you scratching the bottom of your collection of patience atm - at work? If you are - my thought today is that you have run out and need to think of something else.

I can run out of patience - and I did write a story about the Second Last Straw - which was published so I can't tell you the real title - I can tell you though that the second last straw is the most important one to notice. The last straw can rob you of your dignity - it has had the chance to rob me of mine. I have lived a few years more than you and had two children - the elder certainly drained me of patience so I learned so much.

Let me thing more about patience - I might get more interesting ideas

So - the solutions could be in being in the world or your job but not of them. It takes courage to be different but then - we are all unique. You have grown a lot since you first posted here Hamso - I remember your post but never responded to it - but I have a memory worth having. You were very insecure.

In or unique capacity we all find the world we find ourselves in different in so many ways. A lot of people seems to blunder though life without much thought - which is okay for them. But we never let them stomp into our precious garden of unique ideas in their muddy boots. That is where patience stops I think - when thoughtless beings crush our pretty and unique plants

Whoops - I am often quite the philosopher - maybe I have plumbed the ideas of courage and certainly patience. I would love to know what you think - I really loved your post

Dec

Precious gardens of unique ideas

In response to: Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

Re: What 2020 was and what I want from 2021

hey @Owlunar once again you have hit that nail on the head like always

You know what you said about courage in regards to being afraid and still doing whatever it is - yes I agree with you. I think i have had that experience quite often actually. When I was overseas and even just this past weekend in Adelaide when I was feeling sad or similar.

I also think that you are right about patience - the tank is low. This reminds me of something i wrote this morning on the way to work about my tank of energy being low - patience was the fuel. Maybe i need to change fuel types aye?

Idk @Owlunar my awesome wise friend. Yes I agree - patience ends when those around us with their thoughtlessness crushes our pretty unique things

I always appreciate your insight my friend
1,201 - 1,210 of 2,134