Thoughts

Hi @Powderfinger

I just wanted to reach out and offer you some support

What you wrote really resonated with me and I think that you’ve beautifully captured a feeling that’s often very difficult to describe and put into words

Loneliness is something that touches so many of us and yet despite this, the distress that it can cause seems to be misunderstood and goes largely unnoticed by those around us

There’s definitely something about the sound of the wind blowing that can make us feel so sad and alone When I hear the wind blowing, I feel a deep sense of melancholy and often without meaning to or even wanting to, I find myself transported back in time, grappling with a variety of difficult memories and feelings.

I’m so sorry to hear that you feel like dying and I just wanted to gently encourage you to reach out to one of the helplines if you feel that you need to I’ve also tagged @Former-Member just in case you need some additional care and support.

Thinking of you

Take care,

ShiningStar

Thanks @ShiningStar ⭐️

@Powderfinger Loneliness is an awful feeling isn't it, and it can be particularly difficult to manage at this time of year. We are hearing you and sitting with you

If you feel like you need more support than the forums, I encourage you to reach out:

Lifeline: 13 11 14 or Crisis Chat

Suicide call back service: 1300 659 467 or online counselling

Samaritans: 135 247

@ShiningStar

It was quite a few weeks ago now that I wrote it, but I remember where I was at in myself. Dark and very bad. I'm happy that what you would struggle to put into words, you found it in my writing.

Writing, music, furniture repair and restoration are my things. If I'm not coping, bed and sleep.

I'm not sure why the wind has different effects on me. Like you said, it affects you too in its own way.

I think I have been awake for three hours now and I need to go back for more sleep.

You take care too.

Thank you for your message

The thing is with these help lines, for the purpose of suicide ideation topics let's say, I have never found it to be helpful for me at any point.

Neither part is wrong or right, it is just that some people such as myself have other methods. Sometimes, well most times for me, talking and having to listen to a person on a phone is too much and has led me to further distress.

I am sure these helpines have more than likely saved a lot of lives and helped a lot of people which is fantastic. It's just not right for me. At this point, I just really need to take care of me.

Loneliness and being/feeling alone in the world is the hardest. It makes every day hard to get through and keep going. I'm sorry if you experience this too. It's not pleasant.

@Jupiter

Thank you. I appreciate your response.

Hi @Powderfinger

My pleasure and you’re welcome

Thank you also for your kind words Loneliness and being and / or feeling alone, are terribly difficult emotions to sit with

Thank you so much for sharing your experiences of reaching out to the various helplines for support I can really appreciate how this isn’t helpful for everyone and how contacting a helpline for support could potentially result in further distress I'm so sorry to hear that this has been your experience

I think that it’s great that you’ve been able to identity a variety of things that help you! Being able to identify, understand and address our needs is such an important part of being able to take care of ourselves This is definitely something that I need to keep practicing!

I hope that today is a little easier for you

Take care,

ShiningStar

Hi @ShiningStar

They are difficult emotions to sit with and it does take quite a while to get to the bottom of the reasons for loneliness and feeling alone.

Thanks for understanding about helplines. I am not totally against them. They are there, I know. I know their use and if ever I truly felt I needed it, then I would use it. They do good work these helpines. Offering their time voluntary to help other people. They are human too. Its also that more often than not being on a phone can be annoying to me. I am not a phone person. I actually used to be not too bad with talking on the phone, but yeah now I don't really like it much. I will do it if I need to though.

It has taken me a long time to find out what works for me. One size really does not fit all. I agree that it is an important part of taking care of ourselves and it would be good for both of us to keep practicing. Our needs are important, even if nobody else considers our needs important.

I hope you have a good day.

Take care

Powderfinger

@Powderfinger I know the feeling of loneliness all too well. I know many people who suffer from it as well. Its great you've found an avenue, to write, and to express yourself and the fact you do express yourself must feel very freeing. For me, writing helps me too. Helplines not so much. Some of my writing is really dark and depressing so I won't post it here, but for some reason just typing it out on my phone helps. I really appreciated your original post though, it was beautifully written. All the best.

Hi @Powderfinger

My pleasure I think that it’s really important to respect peoples’ experiences and the decisions that they make in terms of the support that feels right for them

I definitely agree that by and large, helplines provide a really valuable service and that the volunteers do a great job

I think that you’ve done a great job identifying the strategies that work best for you Learning how to address our emotional needs definitely doesn’t happen overnight and I can appreciate how this takes time and involves trial and error and perseverance - not to mention hard work! I’m hoping to be able to make a little more headway with developing a tool kit of strategies for myself in the New Year

I hope that you’re travelling ok I’ve enjoyed chatting with you these past few days

Take care,

ShiningStar

@ShiningStar

It is really important. It took me quite a while to mature in life and see what you are saying in your first paragraph. I didn't always see this. Sometimes I still forget, but I'm a whole lot better than what I was.

Yes, there are some really special folk out there on the helplines. I find that in times of high distressed, the poor person in the other end can cope some real shit from me and I truly don't like knowing someone went home that night or day very upset and hurt. It can and does happen. I'd rather not do that myself do I try deal with it another way.

Thank you regarding strategies. Some days I have none and that's when I just sleep. When I'm really bad I can sleep for days. I've done it since I was in my teens. I still do it but not as much. I have been lately though.

It definitely is a lot if trial and error. I'm not travelling ok at all. I'm just feeling like I'd have no energy to deal with anything. One day at a time I guess. I've enjoyed speaking with you these past few days too.

Take care.

Powderfinger.

@nath2 I'm sorry you know the feeling all too well.

Writing is really good. PDoes not matter what sort of writing it is, being able to express yourself is a strength. I think it helps to sort out what's in our heads too.. I admittedly haven't written for quite some timesz but enough pressure on myself. Thank you for the nice comment on my OP.