Every new beginning, comes from some other beginnings end. Seneca.

I’ve thought of starting a new thread for a while. So I thought today was the right time, while come courage is ebbing through my veins.

During the week, I unexpectedly met someone I had trained with, over 30 years ago. I was married back then, she was, and still is, with two beautiful boys, now two beautiful grandchildren. She filled me in on many of the other students we trained with at that time. So many successful stories. Don’t get me wrong, I like to hear how well others are doing, but unfortunately I am the black sheep.

I couldn’t help but compare our journeys. And as I walked into my humble abode, I heard myself saying, all I do is paint stones. I was flooded with feelings of failure, and thankful I have a counsellor I can contact when things get really dark.

I guess looking back over my journey, there seem to have been many new beginnings, from other beginnings ending. This year I have been trying to own my journey. Face the trauma of the littles inside, hiding behind a diagnosis of DID. Facing the facts of it being me, not them. It seemed another form of dissociation for me, but in reality, I was always there, somewhere.

Feeling the shame of failure at everything crossroads. I seem to have spent my life searching for a faith I eventually lost. Entering a convent at 16, leaving 9 years later broken mentally and physically, not aware ( yet ) of the secrets of abuse, well hidden in my memory. Searching different denominations, then eventually 3 years missionary bible college training. Then the Big Bang. Divorce, remembering, alone. Through all of it , a tiny spark, though hidden , still searching.

One unexpected meeting, days of unexpected searching. It’s hard not to compare, especially when we face the daily struggles with mental illnesses.

Life moves on, whether we like it or not.

So every new beginning comes from another beginnings end.

@NatureLover @Zoe7 @Faith-and Hope @Appleblossom @outlander @Former-Member @Emelia8 @Anastasia @Shaz51 @oceangirl @Powderfinger