In a delemma

Hi @robpaul6 That is a dilemma! I think it would be hard for anyone to separate work and home when someone they love is suddenly at work because they're unwell- I know I would! Also for your colleagues, though to a lesser extent, being faced with needing to try and treat a fellow workmate, then having another workmate involved as a loved one as well... I know for me, I wouldn't want to go somewhere I've worked for treatment for myself, for that exact reason. I know I'd feel awkward and uncomfortable. But then, in rural and more remote areas, that can seriously limit your options, when the options are often already minimal to begin with!

It's important though that you're able to take care of yourself as well, and it sounds like this is having an impact on you. You've also shown a lot of insight and awareness around what's going on for you and why, which is fantastic! Would you feel comfortable talking to your supervisor about what's going on? For me, I find it can be helpful for my manager to know if there's something going on that's impacting or may impact on my work. Sometimes, they're even able to help support me to put strategies in place to manage what's going on. Another (slightly brave) thing that I've sometimes found necessary is to call it and name it for what it is. 'hey, I'm feeling a little awkward here, but...' Sometimes, that can help to dispel it a little. I'd encourage you to speak up about what you need and take time out for yourself and have a breather when you need it.

Whether your husband is in a place for it now, but maybe when he is well enough, it'd be worth having a conversation around what's happening for you so you can try to find a solution and plan together. I hope you'll be able to find a way that works for both.

TideisTurning 😊

@robpaul6

It's a very tricky situation you are in. It cannot go on long term. I feel you will get burnt out, over stressed and overwhelmed. Thankfully I'm not a carer anymore. It's such a huge responsibility to be a carer and then having to manage everything else. I have found that in my personal experience, the carer is often overlooked and the one who needs caring for is more noticed. I've been banging on about it for years.

You need you time only and your rest too. I'm wondering if it is a possibility to relocate together and work in different places?

Regards

Ramble.

Hello and welcome @robpaul6 what a difficult situation you are in.

in an ideal world you would be best working at different clinics. That way there would be no conflict of interest or awkwardness between yourselves and colleagues.

But it's not an ideal situation and I think the only way forward is to have a team meeting with or without your husband. You all really need to put an action plan in place to sort this situation out. I think you have to be upfront and tell everyone how you feel and how much this is affecting you.

Take care always-hope 🌸🌻

@robpaul6 Another welcome from me.

I’m hearing you. I just wanted to let you know, along with all the other responses.

Please take care of you.

I have fought for mental health carer/family rights for the last 25 years, both state and federal. Driven the 2.5 hour trip down the highway so many times I could almost do it in my sleep. I have been a loud and proud advocate and set up multiple support groups. I have been a leader in getting Carer Consultants in mental health services throughout the state. I then did my social work degree and now am a case manager thinking I could lead from within. But nothing protects you when it is a member of your own family that becomes unwell. When you live in a rural region choics get very narrow so somehow we need to find a way to work with what we have to try and achieve the best outcome. That isn't always easy. There has been a couple of good suggestions in the posts below that will be helpful. I guess I was at a very low point when I wrote the first post, but it was katharrtic writing it. I do recommend to my clients and their families to visit these forums and now I can say confidently say just how helpful they are.