Living in HOSPICE ... For such a long time now ...

@gggg It sounds really challenging.

I lived in an aged care complex for a year, I found it really difficult. I am now in a Housing flat, and have help with things that are becoming too hard due to sever arthritis.

Getting old is not fashionable nor nice.

I have a little dog companion, such a joy. She’s not well today, so it is a quiet one ahead for us.

Take care. Sending 💕💕💕

@gggg , that sounds like it could be really confronting to witness the decline of those around you. I don't imagine it'd be pleasent to have to go through increased receiving of help either, and probably quite frustrating too. So I'm really curious about your coping- I know you've mentioned you access helplines and other counselling services when you need it, which is great, but is there anything else that helps you through those harder times?

My wife of 26 years supports my (dying) years, ever since my car accident, 36 years ago. It is very hard to be a carer. In our government run place, we have many people, single and married, who are all old & frail. Some with a dog but no cats, it seems.

Before my car accident, I was a senior social worker. There is so much to learn about geriatric living, now that we are doing this stuff, for the "first time".

Where we are in country Australia (300,000 population), our U3A has almost completely closed down: COVID-19. Not sure what is happening around Australia.

Loneliness is very common. The woman in the unit opposite me was ashamed of her medical condition. So I told my wife to show her my disposable nappies, bed pan, shower chair, etc. She calmed down a little. Still has her panic attacks: ambulances, hospital examinations, hysterical about machine breakdowns & trouble, etc.

Another woman, long "associate" (not friend) older but much healthier than myself has similar proud stubborn attitudes. Being in independent units, many of us eat, drink & use medications of many kinds.

@CyberTrekker That all sounds really difficult. I’m sorry, at this stage in life, you are facing such hardships.

I don’t know if you can get support with what is going on. I know I came across many closed doors while in the village. My mental and physical health declined considerably, due to stress, so my social worker spoke to other places to see what could be done. That was when Housing gave me my flat, I had been on the waiting list for a year.

We are here to listen, and hopefully, support you as much as we can.

Take care of yourself.

At the time of my car accident, 36 years ago, I was an "Accreditation Agent" in a large team of peers. We would examine the administration of Federally funded places like your current place of residence. The management problem you are living is very universal, not just for you, but everywhere in the "free world".

The elderly are "respected" in Sweden and Japan as well. Both are advance humane nations. Personally I am now so frail, with medical emergencies daily, that my work output is now very much less.

The management problem you have is due to the low status our nation has to geriatric care. Age-ism is real. Not sure how to deal with these issues now.

The "advocacy industries" for we older people are not that good. Elderly people like ourselves are often ignored & overwhelmed when we try to clarify our confusion.

This forum here might be a way to put into words, that we can understand, about our confused thinking. There are other ways to sort out our confusion. Which works? I'm still working on this.

Here in Australia (Adelaide), we "invented" NARRATIVE THERAPY.

Narrative Therapy uses "words" such as this forum here. As a senior social worker, we also used Narrative therapy in other ways: Play Therapy, Drama Therapy, many types & versions of "group" therapy", social action & social activism programs, etc.

Then as I became more crippled, I moved away from real people, to being now more confined to this room. Such is life.

Government housing? They use young. inexperienced people to meet with residents like you and me. We both have many support staff. All young, usually on piece-rate work, inexperienced, passed-examinations, but trying to show not too much fear nor uncertainty.

The larger, wealthier places have experienced, "together" and powerful bosses. To the "right" people, these bosses know how to play "the game". They are old enough to know the real gamers from the fakes.

All the above are standard welfare industry practices world wide. Not sure how to make the world better, yet. Good to know about your personal versions of your living situations.

Amongst ourselves (residents), some are not so selfish, not so self-centered. Sometimes. As Elizabeth Kubler-Ross said, when my employer brought her to Australia: the closer we get to heaven (paraphrasing her ideas), the less concerned we are about other concerns.

@CyberTrekker @gggg I’m following the conversation.

A forum tip. The @brings a dropdown. That is how we tag each other. It lets us know you have posted , and who you are talking to in your post. It helps us reply to you.

I too am familiar with Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Take care today.