struggling to take care of myself

thats so sad all I can say now is please hold on we are here for you sending strength,hope and Hugs

@Eden1919

I was in this position twice last year. I'm not sharing to compromise my situations with yours. I'm sharing for understanding and to hopefully push you a little forward.

The beginning of 2019 I was so incredibly sick and I assure you I had no one. I lived on my own and had literally no one. I have cried for so many years of things just being so hard and incredibly overwhelming and having no one there. On top of it guilt trips from the occasional measly help I was able to get. I did eventually get better but doctors couldn't find the issue at all.

The end of 2019, came out of a serious domestic violence relationship. Had to go to court for protection order. 3 months of hell, going through the court process and other stressors. I had no one. I have never in my life used 1800 respect so much. They were a major lifeline to me. I truly had no support. Matters were made worse but I won't go into it. I did get through it.

2020. Four nervous breakdowns, on my fourth one now.

What I'm saying is, I do not know at all what led you to your current state and situation, you are going to have to push yourself a little bit.

We are all here to support you, can offer suggestions, send you our love, listen and be here. You have to push through a tiny barrier when you are ready. I understand overwhelm and crying all the time. Trust me I've been to the doctor's sitting in the waiting room, crying out of sadness, loneliness having no one and genuinely not doing well at all.

I do not want you to think I'm dismissing how hard this is for you, nor that I do not understand. I do, I've been where you are so many times. You need to push yourself forward.

Sending love.

Ramble.

Hey @Eden1919 just checking in to see how you're getting on? Sounded like a rough patch there, I hope the worst of it has passed and you've been able to source some food.

@saltandpepper thanks for checking in, I am still struggling to take care of myself the cleaning still hasnt been done and i still havent managed to go grocery shopping although i have managed to get some small amounts of food. I am still struggling with self care and all of that stuff and i have still been crying a lot. things arent really any better if i am honest. I am still trying but everything is so hard alothough i did manage to do one thing which was to contact my uni and book an appointment to talk to the disability services people so i have done one thing.

@Eden1919 That's great you've taken that step and made your appointment! It's hard to get anything done when you're in a bad headspace, and I'm sure it took a lot to actually make the appointment, so well done. You've had some food; that's excellent. Don't even think about cleaning just yet. I mean that's probably easy for me to say because I'm terrible at that stuff even when I'm coping... But you can't worry about pouring energy into those things right now. Rest. Eat. Drink water. That's it. Survival mode until things start easing up.

Is depression something you have help in managing? Do you talk to a psychologist or uni counsellor?

@saltandpepper Thanks, yeah I have schizoaffective disorder and I see a psychologist and psychiatrist, I have recently been started on new medications so I think everyone is waiting to see how those work. I am hoping this depression period doesn’t last too long but then who knows to be honest at this point I just have to go with the flow because I never know what my mood will be like but the depression part sucks. I have spent all day in bed today I did get up and get dressed but then I just got back into bed anyway so I don’t think it really counts.

Aw geez @Eden1919 trialing new medication can be really rough hey? I hope this time they've got it right and it'll be much smoother sailing when they kick in. Are you able to reach out to your psych while wading this out? It might help even just a little if you can talk to them. Having an understanding ear always helps pull me through those darker days. And being more active in forums like this helps me too. People around the forums have suggested the lifeline service is good, but I've never actually made use of it, but could be a good resource, maybe?

Hell yeah count getting up and dressed as a win!! If you're back in bed, that's where you need to be. Try to listen to your body and if it's telling you to rest, that's what you need to do. Changing medication is going to drain you physically as well as mentally. Altering brain chemistry is a huge deal, it makes sense we need more rest during those times. You're in a rough spot at the moment, dial back what's expected to the survival mode and focus on getting rest, eating, drinking. I'm struggling with the being out of bed thing at the moment too. I've been going back to bed as soon as practical, but today I set myself a small goal of staying up a little longer than I did yesterday. I've still gone back to bed, but I increased the time out of bed by about an hour. Small steps.

@saltandpepper thanks, I cant really contact my psych between sessions i have tried helplines before but they have been very hit or miss and sometimes they make things worse so i am always cautious as to when i use them.

Good for you though getting an extra hour of awake time! i am exhausted just thinking about that lol.