My Mosaic

@Bow Sorry to hear you were repeatedly triggered last night 😣

Good luck with your GP appt today and your blood results...

Good morning hon @Bow

Wishing you a good day today

Sending love 💜💜💜

I’ve been pretty fragile today. Went into a bit of a spiral last night, but put myself to bed and eventually fell asleep. Woke up still feeling really out of sorts though.

I had a gp appointment this morning, my support worker came with me. My gp strapped my ankle for me. My bloods are at a good level and I can stop taking my supplements. But we are going to keep a close eye on them with twice weekly blood tests. My gp now has my supplements so if needed while mum is away I can get them off her (my gp was super concerned about this as too high blood levels can be just as dangerous as too low). My gp is still a little concerned about how I will manage while mum is away but I told her I am confident I will be ok.

My support worker will visit me every day that she is at work.

My CM… tell me if I am overreacting with this one….. I was talking to mum today, about when she spoke with my CM about her going away and asking for some extra support for me. She said the first thing my CM said to her was ‘what will happen to *daughters name* if she ends up in the hospital?’ I feel really hurt by how little faith my CM has in me. That she is expecting me to fail. Yes we have discussed this, me and my mum, I’ve discussed it with my support worker and my psychologist. And maybe if my CM took the time to have a conversation with me and check in with me, then she would know also that we do have a plan in place. But that we also have alot of plans in place to try and keep me well and out of hospital and capable of looking after my own daughter for 10 days. Geesh, I did it for 4 weeks last year in multiple countries. I’m even more pissed off and angry with my CM now.

sigh. Mum leaves tomorrow and I haven’t heard anything from community mh.

😩

It's good that you recognised that your were spiraling and was able to put yourself to bed @Bow well done on doing that. Sometimes it is hard to see that within ourselves.

Sounds like it went well with your gp and that your bloods were back to normal range.

I'm sorry about your CM hon and that she is not contacting you. It is hard when our supports don't have faith in us. You are allowed to feel angry at them. I'm glad you have your support worker and that she is going to visit you whilst your mum is away. Hopefully with that extra support it will help.

Agree with @Snowie on this one @Bow - you are entitled to your anger. It sounds like you've been working really hard to ensure that everything is as prepared as it can be, and then to have your CM not trust in you is bound to leave anyone feeling pretty rattled.

Could you reach out to CMH yourself?

I hope you and D end up having a really splendid time, with the place to yourselves. Good opportunity for some respite, some bonding, and some cheeky fun together too.

Thank you @Jynx … @Snowie .. for understanding… for validating. Sometimes I get myself into a bit of a ruminating mess inside my head in regards to my CM. I really need to address it with someone.

I could give CMH a call myself @Jynx ask to speak to the team leader. I’ve asked many times for the situation to be taken to her, but looks like I may just have to do it myself. I also want to wait and see if my CM does step up though.

@Jynx d is excited to have a ‘party’ on Friday night. We did a meal plan last night for while mum is away, something I talk to my supports about putting in place. D picked some of her favourite meals. We have also talked about some things that we are going to do over the weekend. We are going to go buy some nerf guns…. 😃We have some arts and crafts picked out.

did you sort your broken key out today @Jynx ??

Aww so cute @Bow sounds like you two are gonna have a phenomenal time! Nerf guns are a hoot hehe.

Hope you get things sorted with CMH!!

I do have a spare key, luckily when it broke off it didn't get stuck in the lock. Just had to whizz over to my bestie's house to grab the spare at 11pm last night lol. Which was actually kinda nice cos it was her bday, and I got a bday cupcake out of it 😁

I’m hoping that we do @Jynx im anxious about the constant talking though! Kids talk a lot! And I have only a certain amount of words to give each day and then I need to tap out! I’m very much an introvert! I really notice it when I spend a whole day alone with my D. And constant noise. I get very overstimulated by it. We will survive though.

oh yay for birthday cupcakes! That worked out well.