My Mosaic

Hey @Bow - deep breaths if you can. No feeling lasts forever, even the scary ones. If you take some slow deep breaths, does the chest pain start to go away at all?

If you're worried you can always call like, nurse-on-call to get a medical opinion. And no shame popping into ED if you need to - even just getting checked out can give you some peace of mind, as well as some company for a time.

Sleep is also always an option.

In bed trying to relax and slow breath still hurts. If I get to my gp appointment in the morning I will try mention it to her.

Hi @Bow , your chest pains sound alarming to me. (I know someone with anorexia who is currently dying in hospital becuase her heart is giving out on her, that's why) I am crossing fingers you feel able to mention them to the GP this morning 🤞

Sending 💜

How is things going for you today @Bow

I managed to get to my gp appointment this morning.

My case manager texted me early this morning too asking if I would be attending my appointment with her. She has never done. Never texted to confirm. She musta know how serious I was last week when I walked out of my appointment with her angry. She replied asking if I would be attending my Thursday appointment. I said probably not. Too angry. Her response…. Sorry to hear. Call the team if you want to talk. Sigh 😩

My gp appointment. I briefly explained some of my frustration and disappointment with my CM and community mh. Really feel they have dropped the ball here. My gp offered to call my CM, I said if she thought it would help, but I am doubtful. She tried while I was there but kinda glad my CM wasn’t available. My gp will talk with my CM later. Will ask when my next pdoc appointment is, will discuss my need for weekly psychological support.

I then mentioned the chest pains. My gp did a thorough exam. I went and then had some bloods done and then an ECG. The pathology lady there is lovely. We always talk. I needed my height and weight for the ECG. The lady understood, didn’t even have to ask, she offered to cover my weight. Sadly she is leaving in 4 weeks. She’s going to study nursing. She will make a great nurse. She rarely hurt when taking my bloods.

im fairly flat this afternoon. I’m tired. Weary. I was on the treadmill a little while ago contemplating ending it. How selfish it would be. Cruel. But why do I keep fighting this battle that seems not to end?

I’m so glad you GP is so supportive @Bow. I hope they are able to support out Comm health for you.

It sounds like your CM understands that you are not happy but doesn’t seem to have any solution to help.

As for your thoughts is there anyone you can talk too?

It would be good if my gp could sort something out with community mh but I am certainly not holding my breath there. my gp said it’s good that I’m with community mh cause everybody is under the one roof and they are good for crisis management. Which I agree. They can just be really shitty sometimes and there seems to be a huge lack of choice. 😩

feeling fairly lonely at the moment @Captain24 literally got no one now.

and it’s just me and my daughter at home at the moment. My daughter went into the hospital with my mum this morning while I went to the gp. I then picked my daughter up afterwards. Mum said they will try and get my step dad home some day this week.

so trying to hold it all together

You are lucky with having everyone together. @Bow My psychologist is separate and it makes it hard. I do hate the part where you have no choice though.

I get the loneliness especially as you don’t feel like you have any support.

It’s good that your step dad should be home this week sometime. Can you just try and enjoy the alone time with D? Is there something that you could

so together that you can’t when he is home? Dancing around to loud music? Anything?

Really don’t have the energy much to do anything today @Captain24 Saving myself for tomorrow. It will be a late night for us. We are going to the 7pm show of Disney on ice. Think it goes for like an hour and half or so. Then have to walk back to the car… stupid me didn’t book parking early enough and we are parking in a carpark that is a 20min walk. They say they have shuttles…. Will see if that is true. Then about 45min drive home.