My Mosaic

Yeah I can try @tyme im suppose to see her tomorrow morning. But when I went in to see her yesterday she was off sick and the lady that I seen instead said that she will most likely be off sick all week.

Probably the dreaded flu... people are so sick with it @Bow . At the same time, I hope you hear soon.

Timing in recovery is everything. If you can get the right timing to work with what's needed, it is ideal.

@tyme Yeah, she is away a lot, which is really frustrating cause I tend to be a bit…. Needy? I do usually see her twice a week.

Twice a week, means you are relying on 2 crutches at this time in your recovery? (an analogy). Over time, this will go down to 1 crutch then down to the occasional crutch. @Bow

Although you see her twice weekly now, it doesn't mean it will be like that for life.

When my CM went away, I used to use that time to 'test' myself and try different strategies. Because I'm very goal-focussed, I wanted to 'beat' the challenge and stay well.

I know it sounds stupid, but that's how I got through. I'm wondering what will get you through? I believe in you.

@Bow my dear friend

Wishing you a good day today hon 💗💗

Been down to see my case manager this morning. Asked the receptionist lady if CM was in. She fumbled through her paper work and said yes, she was in. I went and sat down and she called her to let her know that I was here. Was relieved to know that she was in today and I wouldn’t have to see a random. But next minute a random comes and calls my name. She wasn’t in at all!! Sigh. Lady that I seen was ok to talk to, but she wasn’t my CM. She didn’t ask me all the questions that others do… ie… food intake, exercise, sh, si. She asked if there was anything that I wanted to raise before my pdoc appointment next week. I just mentioned my sleep. We talked about that a little bit. I think I just have to accept that my sleep sucks and that’s just how it’s gonna be. I then mentioned my trauma anniversary early next month and that I am getting anxious about it. She said that she can make sure that I have increased contact around that time. Not real sure what use that will be though.

my peer worker social support person is suppose to be coming today. She was suppose to come yesterday but had an emergency. She says she has exciting news for me. That makes me anxious.

came home from my appointment and one of the cats had peed on my bed!! 😡 my door had blown shut. Managed to go through every single layer! Guess I get clean sheets tonight too @Eve7 @Snowie

My best friend/old pastors wife messaged me today. Checking in and asking if I was going to get to the mini conference type things that is on this weekend. I told her I was sure. And said how hurt I was that not one person from church had been in contact with me for well over 8 weeks. She replied. She was disappointed and understood. I’m not sure if I can ever go back there. Sad 😢

Hi @Bow

Sorry to hear that things were messed up with your CM today.

Also a real shame no one has been in touch with you from church. It's so disappointing when people who should care don't seem too. It would make me sad too.

I hope your day gets better x

Hey @Bow

You're not alone right now, I'm sitting with you and here if you wanted to chat

Sending hugs

Feel like I’m stuck in a bit of a rut @amber22 ever since getting outta hospital I’ve been struggling with lack of motivation to do anything. Yesterday I finally got myself back on the treadmill but that’s cause I’ve got so blinking fat.
I set up a new paint by numbers days ago. But I haven’t done any of it. I use to spend hours doing that.
my plants badly need watering or I’m gonna lose more of them.
I have a heap of paintings to hang.
I have some really nice new puzzles that I could do.

I have a heap of Lego projects I could also do.
my personal hygiene is not good.
my daughter went to her fathers this afternoon after school. I’ve just curled up in bed and been scrolling on my phone. Feeling oh so sad. Alone.