My Mosaic

That would have been a hard conversation @Bow but it seems to be a common side effect for all of us. Hopefully this doesn’t affect you too adversely.

This admission appears to have been positive for you so far. You’re a winner! Keep pressing forward 🩵💕🩵

Yeah, that’s true @Eve7 whenever my doctors talk about putting my meds up, they remind me that an increase will cause more weight gain, as if I need to make a choice between the med increase or the weight gain. It sucks. I swear inside my head. It’s not fair. They need to make psych meds that don’t cause weight gain. My ED hates it.

I don’t know why these meds put on weight like they do @Bow It really plays on my mind too and it certainly affects our recovery. I try to maintain a healthy diet and regular exercise without letting those two tule my life.

Hope yo sleep well tonight. 🩵😴🩵

Well done @Bow for putting in a great effort regarding your ED in that environment which is not supportive for your ED.

Thinking of you and hoping that today is a good day...how's your sleep and nightmares? 💜

I am starting to become very anxious about discharge. I feel like this admission here and the ECT treatment has been really good for me, it has helped and I am ‘feeling’ better, as in im not feeling as depressed. I’ve done really well to eat at every meal here, but as a result I have stacked the weight on, which I am very much not ok about. And I will need to do something about that as soon as I am out of here. I have noticed that my ED thoughts have been becoming increasingly louder the last day or so, and I can see them continuing to do so.

I see my pdoc today. And I think I will have ECT tomorrow and then again on Friday and then I will go home. That will be 13 treatments. Prior to coming to the private clinic, I was started on a mood stabiliser, but it was stopped for ECT. I am interested in knowing if this is an option to go back on once ECT is finished.

My sleep is still not great. The nightmares have subsided a bit with the medication, but it still takes ages to get off to sleep. I think maybe I have to accept that this is how my sleep will be. Which is not ideal. 😩

Discharge can be an anxious time for us @Bow especially if we are going well in hospital and then we go home and things feel like they are out of control.

Please talk to your treating team about all these thoughts hon. They might be able to help you in some way. The mood stabilizer might help.

I too wish they made meds that didn't put on weight. The new ones my pdoc is thinking of putting me on, one of the major side effects is weight gain. I too have become embarrassed about my appearance.

Hoping today goes a little better for you hon

Sending lots of love 💕💕

My case manager visited today. Was good to see her.
I will do twice weekly supports with her when I get out of hospital to start with. My pdoc is still up in the air. They are pretty sure she is coming back, but it’s not 100% yet.
my psychologist has gone on leave 😩 and won’t be back until end of July which is really not ideal. I had hoped she was still there and that I could go and attend my appointment tomorrow. Sigh. I’ve only met my psychologist once, and I’m not overly keen on her. I wish that there was the option to have some choice in who my psychologist is. I wish I could have the psychologist that I have spoken to a couple of times here that also works at community mh. She is lovely, warm, I feel comfortable talking to her.
I’ve emailed my dietitian to make an appointment with her for when I get out.

I will hopefully speak with my pdoc later tonight.

Sounds like you achieved a lot today @Bow

Glad to hear that your CM visited today and that you made an appt. with your dietitian.

I'm sorry to hear about your psych hon. It is hard when they go away, especially since you don't know her that well.

I hope your day has gone ok 💕💕

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@Bow wrote:

I feel like this admission here and the ECT treatment has been really good for me, it has helped and I am ‘feeling’ better, as in im not feeling as depressed. I’ve done really well to eat at every meal here

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So pleased to hear this, @Bow ! Well done 👍

But I hear you, that you're worrying about your discharge. I hope you can be started on the mood stabiliser again.

"I wish that there was the option to have some choice in who my psychologist is. I wish I could have the psychologist that I have spoken to a couple of times here that also works at community mh. She is lovely, warm, I feel comfortable talking to her."

Is there any way you could request her?

I don’t know @NatureLover i could maybe broach the subject with my case manager and see where it gets me.

I seen my pdoc last night. He wants me to stay for the full 15 ECT treatments. So that will take me to next Wednesday. I think I had started planning in my head that I would be home for the weekend, so I’m a little bit disappointed now. One more week!

ECT went well this morning. Number 12. But I’ve gone back to bed after breakfast. Got a headache. My friend that I have made in here goes home today. She’s a slightly older lady, a local. We will stay in touch on the outside. We were in the same groups and ate our meals together. Told her to knock on my door before she leaves.

my best friend landed back in Oz this morning. I look forward to seeing her. It’s her granddaughter birthday today and her gd is a little bit besotted with my daughter so my d has been invited to their house for birthday pizza tonight.

well I’m off to have a nap see if this headache will go away. 💕