My Mosaic

Just me again. Putting words to what is inside. Scared. Hopeless. Frustrated and trapped. How bad to things need to get before someone will do something. Don’t feel heard today. Sad. Real sad.

Sorry to hear that you don't feel heard today @Bow

Would you like a cuppa? Sitting here with you and listening 💜

Feel so panicked @Snowie knowing it’s the weekend and not able to contact my supports. I don’t know what to do. Not ok tonight.

That is hard when we cannot contact our supports hon @Bow

Please remember we are here for you and to support you. Remember also that there are some helplines you can reach out to over the weekend. I normally reach out to them if I am feeling not well.

Is there something you can do this afternoon to help you settle a bit?

Hey @Bow !

I hear you! You remind me so much of my own story. Weekends and holidays were the most challenging times for me because I knew there were limited supports.

To help get through these challenging times, I usually put things in place such as book appointments with people, engage in activities I am responsible for etc.

And of course there are times when these things didn't work.

It's about forward-planning and working towards the day when you no longer feel you need these interventions in place.

Nowadays, I LONGGGGGG to see weekends and holidays! Absolutely look forward to them.

All the best. We're here for you,

tyme

Today was really rough.

I seen my dietician in the morning- appointment went better than I expected and then I went and had a cuppa with a friend who is out from London.

My case manager came to see me this afternoon and bought some paper work type things to go through which took over an hour. I mentioned a number of times my SH and how bad it got last night and without going into details, I mentioned that it’s not ok today. But she didn’t seem to care? Was not concerned. I felt unheard. It takes a lot to even mention things like this and to walk away unheard is pretty shit.

The day just got worse. I felt panicked that I was now faced with the weekend, with no supports available to me. I was told by a helpline that I should get my SH checked, but I didn’t want to. I had already cancelled an appointment for today to get previous SH checked, I wasn’t feeling up to the judgement that I was bound to receive from the gp. And I didn’t want to go to the hospital cause all I can hear are the words that the triage nurse said to me last ‘do you do this often?’(in relation to my restrictive ED), could only imagine the insensitive comments with SH.

So in my panic, in my frustration and helplessness, I took myself down to the Safe Haven cafe down the road. It’s a drop in type cafe as an alternative to hospital for people who have SI and is mostly ran by peer workers. I had been wanting to visit this places for months and had asked my case manager to arrange for their peer worker to take me down there cause I was a bit apprehensive about going for the first time.

i was anxious as heck. could hardly get any words out as I walked in and the guy asking what my name was. But he made me a cuppa, invited me to sit where ever I liked and just sat with me for a bit. I slowly warmed up to talking and managed to explain where things are at for me today. I felt heard. I felt understood and most importantly I didn’t feel judged for my SH. They are not clinical, so could do nothing but listen and encourage me to seek medical attention, which I may do tomorrow. But they did give me a little welcome bag with some sensory items, some sour candy and some first aid things- which I appreciated. The friendly guy that I sat and chatted with for over an hour and half is on there all weekend and invited me back to visit.

I’ve come home, had a long hot shower and taken my meds and hope to get some sleep soon. Feeling a tiny bit lighter tonight.
🎀

Wow @Bow ! This Safe Haven Cafe sounds awesome! Seems like we need more of them.

You've raised a really important point - they are not clinical - they do nothing but listen and encourage.

This is the exact quality of peer work - non-clinical and strengths-based.

I see so much potential in you @Bow as a peer worker. Your experiences are invaluable to the community.

Maybe one day we will see you working in one such cafe!

Thank you for sharing such a good new story - The Value of Peer Work!

Take Care,

tyme

Thanks @tyme

I believe there are more and more of these safe haven cafes opening up here around NSW. Think it’s funded as part of the PHN. When I first heard about it I thought, wow, we need more of these. Hopefully it will reduce the amount of folks who present to the ED with SI.

This guy just sat and listened. Asked the right questions. Then we talked safety plans and how I can get through tonight. And then we can talk about tomorrow when it arrives if needed.

I’d really like to see these peer workers in the hospitals too, sitting along side folks who do end up in the ED.

I hope so too @Bow ! It is very much needed! People who can see beyond the label and diagnosis - to see the person!

Yes and to help advocate. Sometimes it’s really hard and really confronting to have dr…. Psychiatrist sit down in front of you and ask a million questions. Yes that needs to happen, but perhaps having a support person sit beside you can be of benefit. Someone who has the time to sit and listen prior. Maybe I’m dreaming too big….