My Mosaic

It will still be puffer jacket weather in Prague and Wales @Bow We’re coming from a Qld summer so the cold will hit us big time especially when we get to York. I don’t do cold very well 🥶

Had vegemite and avocado on toast @Bow

Hopefully you make it to the shops hon.

Would be good if your SW does do a home visit hon, at least to see how you are doing.

Nothing really on here. Will have to go see mum either tomorrow or Sunday. Guess it means I have to put my big girl pants on.

My heads so consumed with this pending admission. All the questions and unknowns. If I get turned away I won’t go back. So much blinking anxiety

Hello lovely, tell me more about how you're feeling and your upcoming admission. @Bow 🫶

I’m suppose to be going in on Tuesday @AuntGlow it would be really nice if I could rock up at the ED, speak to the triage nurse, then quickly be seen by whoever the mh person is and not have to explain myself too much. Hoping that my CM phone call will be sufficient. Then not too long for a bed on the ward. See a dietitian relatively quickly too so necessary supports can be put in place.

but it won’t go like that. This I know.

I will hopefully see my SW tomorrow where she will maybe be available to take me in and stay for a while? If not. I’ll be alone.

what do I tell the first person I talk to? The person before triage?

I’ll no doubt have to sit and wait for ages cause mh is not urgent. Mh can wait for triage.

then talking to triage. They will ask a million questions and put it into the computer.

then I sit and wait for goodness knows how long until I see mh. And who will that be? Will it just be a mh worker? A psych registrar? And then what do I tell them? My CM said to talk it up. But who to?

and will there even be a bed after all that? I don’t wanna be sent off to another public hospital. Need to stay local. Can I ask if there is availability at the private hospital? Do I sit and wait in the ED for a couple of days? Or do they tell me to come back in a couple of days? I put a post out on our local mh community support page about going in. Someone replied that they have been waiting 2 weeks for a bed. Farkk

its bloody ridiculous that this kind of admission can’t be planned properly.

and then even if I do get a bed, the pdoc that I get admitted under, it’s their decision what they do. Just cause my community pdoc and CM agree to the ECT doesn’t mean the admitting pdoc will.

I need dietetics support asap. Otherwise there is a very real risk of me resorting to ED behaviours to cope. And then that puts my whole admission into jeopardy.

all of this is causing significant anxiety. It’s painful. I feel sick.

The process you have outlined sounds like it would be really helpful and allow you to feel supported in a way that's less overstimulating. I really hope your SW can go with you - when do you know if they can/can't? @Bow

Gosh, I can completely understand why you would have so many questions here, and the not knowing is absolutely anxiety-inducing. I really want to validate this painful and sick feeling, there's so much that sounds out of your control right now... so I wonder if it would be helpful to look at what you can control right now? What comes to mind as something you have control over in this very moment? Let's start there. 💛

@AuntGlow My SW is suppose to be on shift tomorrow and I asked if she has time if she will come do a home visit. I will then ask her if she has time Tuesday to pick me up and take me to hospital and stay with me for a while. Fingers crossed. 🤞

it’s all very much out of control and full of unknowns. I’m in bed. I’m tired. But head is loud. Fan on. I don’t know what else sorry

I am keeping my fingers crossed for you too, lovely. @Bow 🫶

Knowing you can find comfort in bed is absolutely something you can control right now, proud of you. I shower or go to bed when I feel vulnerable as well - cozy things, you know?

Are you watching/listening to anything?

Thanks @AuntGlow

no just scrolling really. Waiting for meds to kick in so I can sleep.

I hope your meds kick in soon and you're able to get some well-deserved rest. @Bow 🫶 Please keep me updated about how this week goes!