My Mosaic

Hey @Bow ,

I was talking about the post from yesterday night when you said that you weren't okay.

It's so hard to see you have to sit in this difficult space.

What do you think would be helpful? Did lego help at all?

I do things to pass the time @tyme but it doesn’t change anything. I’m just surviving the moments. I wake up just to do the same thing all over again. It’s horrible to sit there doing things to pass time, doing Lego, keeping my hands busy, yet my head, my thoughts are so torturous.

sorry

Totally hear you. Distraction works for a bit, but it's a band aid, right? @Bow

Reading between the lines, I read there is so much hurt that is keeping you in the place you are in at the moment.

Are you able to phone anyone to speak to them?

Yeah that’s the word @tyme a big humongous band aid.

my life is feeling like a great big mess at the moment. Everything is everywhere. Nothing is making any sense. I can’t slow any of it down. You know that ride at Luna park, that spins you around and around and around and then they drop the floor and you no longer have your feet on solid ground and your stuck to the sides? That’s my life. Everything thrown in. Spinning and spinning. No slowing down. Nothing solid and steady to ground myself.
and then I vomit cause it’s all making me physically sick now.

i tried a crisis line last night. She was really weird. Not helpful.

i just had a cold shower.

@Bow , I just want to say that I hear how hard it is. I know you don't reach out to crisis lines easily and for you to do that, it must mean things are really really hard. Are you able to call triage tonight if you need it?

I dont' have an answer about how to get out of this. Whilst it brings back memories of me being in a similar place, I don't have answers for you about how to get out - sorry.

Please know I hear your pain.

Thank you @tyme for hearing me and not shutting me down. It actually means a lot.
and yes, reaching out to crisis lines takes a lot and only really happens when things are pretty dire. I will do my best to try and reach out tonight if needed.

Afternoon @Bow

Hoping today has been kinder to you hon

Sending lots of 💕💕

Hi @Snowie

thanks, but unfortunately it hasn’t been. Thankfully it’s nearly over

how r u?

It's super creative. What's next on your creation list? @Bow 💖

Oh, gosh, that sounds really tough. On one hand, the support would be really helpful, but on the other it sounds like you're really needing support from a woman (which is completely understandable and it's important to follow what feels safe for you).

I am glad your support worker checked in and I am proud of you for sharing. I can imagine it would have felt quite vulnerable to not get a response... did she end up replying at all? 🫶

It sounds like your mind and body are carrying so much right now, Bow. With surgery coming up, it truly is a lot.

What have you been doing for yourself today? ☺️