My Mosaic

I'm okish thanks @Anastasia my throat is still giving me grief. I should find out some kind of plan today. They all had a meeting yesterday to discuss me and a report is on the system but the nurses wouldn't tell me, said the Drs needed to, which I understand.

I also have a message from my ex sitting in my inbox that I am trying to avoid and ignore, it's giving me a lot of anxiety. It just something that I don't want to deal with at the moment. He cancelled his visit on Saturday cause he was sick. He now wants to see her this weekend, which is technically my weekend and then he wants to change the fortnight's going forward. I'm going to guess he assumes that cause we are in lockdown that it won't matter. Urgh.

how are you today?

Hello @Bow

I'm sorry your throat is still sore. Not good.

I'm hoping when the Dr talks to you today it is news that sits well with you 🤞🙏

Arghh the dreaded email, brings back memories. How do you feel about changing weekends if that is his intention. I remember anxiety around that because of plans that were made in the future both with the boys and without. Not easy Now, I feel for you and hope it's just the one weekend in question 🙏🤞

Lots and lots of squishy hugs sweetheart.

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗

If you feel you want to please tag me in your update from Dr.

Love and hugs 🤗💞🤗💞🤗💞🤗💞🤗

@Anastasia @Eve7 @Emelia8 And anyone else....

I've spoken with Drs today. Not really much to report other than I am here until I can eat properly. Goodness knows how long. It's such a challenge. That's what the gastro team said.

then the mental health folks came around and did a mindfulness eating exercise which was so freaking confronting and overwhelming. Anxiety was so horrible. It took a long time but I eventually had a tiny piece of cheese! And they will be back tomorrow to do the same 😩

they are also changing my medication. But I only overheard that so I'm not sure exactly what they are doing.

the emails from the ex @Anastasia are so bloody stressful. He made the comment when we moved to every second weekend that if I needed to change weekends around that there would be basically be no lieway on his part and it would mean that he would have 2 weekends in a row. But now that it's him that wants to change things he wants to throw his weight around. Just cause he was sick on Saturday and missed his day. I don't want to be a heartless b*tch, but I also don't want him to see that he can throw his hefty weight around and get his way all the time. He is suppose to see her Thursday for a couple of hours 'After school'. Am tempted to tell him that I want the weekends to stay the way that they are cause we have plans on weekends, which is true. I booked them around this way cause they would better for me, and then offer him more time on Thursday as compensation. Is that fair? I know you will understand this shittyness.

Hi @Bow I’m sitting outside in the sun at work and saw your post.

Thank you for the update as I think of you often. It sounds as if you are a bit healthier due to the interventions but of course, that’s not a long term solution so I will keep praying for a breakthrough.

I’m sorry your throat is so sore. Maybe you can suck some lozenges??

My son has been through all the drama with his ex of weekends changing but after 3 years that has settled although it hasn’t been without complication.

My aim this week is to get up early enough to walk along the beach before work. It won’t be tomorrow as I have ECT hopefully Thursday.

Big hugs and lots of prayer

💜🤗🙏🤗💜

@Eve7 a morning walk along the beach each morning sounds like a lovely idea. I remember when we went away last year I really enjoyed getting up and going for a walk on the beach each morning. It's so calm and relaxing.... although did have to convince by d the whole way 'just a little bit further... or ... oh look at this pretty shell'. I do wish that we lived closer to the beach. It is my peaceful place.

I hope ECT goes ok tomorrow for you.

Yes I have some lozenges and Mum is dropping some more off for me too along with a Kmart click and collect order I put through yesterday. I like to get up and dressed of a morning and out of my pjs even though I sit in bed all day. I realised how horrible my track pants are! They are certainly my round the house, digging in the garden type. Will just make me feel a bit better about myself perhaps with a couple of new pairs.

custody battles are horrible. I'm sorry your son has had to deal with it too. I just went back and found the original email where he said the stuff about missed/ changed weekends. All this put my heart rate up this morning.

enjoy the sun @Eve7 and thank you x

Hello @Bow

A quick response cause I can't stop long. Go with your heart on the weekend situation. Do what is best for YOU. He sounds tarred with the same brush as mine. Not your problem that he missed his day. If you have bookings ahead then I think the decisions made?

Love and hugs and I am so sorry you have so much to deal with 💖

Love to you too @Eve7 💖

Thanks @Anastasia I told him no but that he could have as long as he wanted on Thursday. So he is doing half the day. Seems ok with it.

Haven't had the greatest of mornings. Have felt like an incredible burden, a nuisance and undeserving of nursing care. The tape that keeps my tube in place on my nose badly needed replacing, it kept falling off and I could feel it moving inside my nose. I told my nurse at 8:30 this morning when I asked to be disconnected for a shower. He said he would change it when he reconnects me. that didn't happen.

my tube is suppose to be flushed with water every 4hrs to prevent clogs. 10am was missed. The tape was never changed and every time I moved it moved and fell off. 2pm he didn't do it either.
I asked 3x for the tape to be fixed.
It all just reinforced that I am a nuisance, a burden and undeserving of their care.

I get nurses are busy. There are sick patients here. I'm not sick. Just in the way.

my new nurse for the afternoon has just come on and during their handover I told her and pointed out the tape. Within 20mins she has fixed it, flushed my line, done my obs and made me feel a little bit more seen and heard.

sorry to complain. I am anxious. Feeling really flat today too. They are reducing one of my meds. Just having a whinge. Sorry

Oh @Bow that's so upsetting, I'm so sorry you were dismissed like that. Shocking!!!

Grrr. I'm glad you now have a caring nurse, which you deserve. Squishy hugs incoming sweetheart

🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗🤗