My Mosaic

It’s very clear @Jynx you said something to me a couple of days ago and then someone I don’t know who, said the opposite tonight.

I wish you folks moderating understood how truly confusing and trauma inducing it is when these things happen.

I’ll give it some time, but it’s so confusing 😢😭

Oh @Bow I will be very sorry to see you go. I have really appreciated your kindness to me but I understand you must do whatever is best for you.

I hope you can know how much your support and openness on the forum has been helpful to many.,

Lots of love 🩵🩵🩵

@Bow I'm glad to hear that you'll take some time before deciding hun - and whatever you choose to do, we will support you in that, too. If you leave, it's not like you're not allowed to come back! 💜

Im gonna go

but willleave you with some kitty cuteness from earlier tonight. They made the tears stop for a little while.

Literally started screaming when I saw their tiny faces @Bow!!

SO CUTE OMG!! THE BEANS! THE EYES! THE WHISKERS!! AAAAAAA 😍😍

Good afternoon dear @Bow

I hope today has treated you a little better

Sending lots of 💕🫂

Been thinking of you lots.

Hi @Snowie

your message made me all tear up.

im mid hard crash this arvo. I’ve had a big day, then watched a movie that upsetting.

I had an appointment with my dietitian this morning and was some how able to send her through an email with what has been going on for me last night. Oh my gosh it made talking about my medical issues at the moment so much easier. She’s heaps concerns and wants me to see my gp asap. But we also talked about some strategies to put in place in the meantime. We talked about some accountability too. My dietitian is so good. She also emailed me everything so I can give that to my SW and CM too.

Then my SW came to visit. I was just able to show her the email from my dietitian and bang, she knew everything too. We chatted all about that, what accountability can look like. She checked in around SH and SI cause that’s been terrible. (I’m safe right now in case anyone asks).

I’ve had a really rough few days. This medical stuff is hugely impacting my sleep. It’s wakes me and then I can’t get back to sleep at all. I’m fairly exhausted.

I don’t know if I’m suppose to say at the end of every post why I am posting, but I’m wanting to connect and not feel so alone.

Oh hon you've had a huge day @Bow

I think you have every right to crash.

I'm sorry about the movie.

I'm so glad that you have your Dietitian. Sometimes it's just that one person hearing us and believing in us that can make a huge difference. She sounds like she is invested in you getting the help you need.

Maybe an appointment with the gp is needed. I know you don't like seeing them. Perhaps the email she sent you, you could give it to your gp.

Giving that information to your SW and CM does sound like a good idea too. That's great that you could show your SW today. Hopefully it can make them be on the same page as you. It can only benefit both of you with them knowing.

It can be really hard having those rough days. It sounds like you are dealing with a lot of things at the same time. Probably overwhelmed in a way.

I will say be gentle with yourself hon. I know at times that we are our own worse enemy. But you deserve to be heard, to be cared for, to feel worthy.

I’ve had a really rough few days. This medical stuff is hugely impacting my sleep. It’s wakes me and then I can’t get back to sleep at all. I’m fairly exhausted.

I'm glad you are connecting on here hon. I'm glad you have been able to update us too on what is happening.

P.S. I saw the kitten photos. How can you not love them when you look into those eyes!!

Thank you @Snowie for being so kind and caring.

yes my dietitian is amazing and I’m so glad I found her. In my email last night I shared with her what I shared with my SW and CM about words and talking and she was so appreciative of me sharing that with her. We have been doing Telehealth for a couple of years now and today she pointed out the chat feature and said if I ever needed it to please use it. Out of all my supports she would probably be one of the ones I feel most comfortable with and that’s because she has always been validating, always listens, always makes time and I’ve never really had any issues with her. She’s always just got it and understood. So while I do find it a little easier to talk to her there are times where I just can’t.

I will have a look at the app and see when my gp is next available. Sigh. I’m really not looking forward to that appointment. But hopefully she will be able to either contact the hospital or provide me with a letter to take to the hospital to try and speed up the surgery that I am on the wait list for. It’s been over a year now and with these new issues maybe they will bump me up the list.

The kittens are so cute! Haven’t been down there much today, haven’t had the time. But will try and get down there later tonight.

how was your day???

Sorry for the delay @Bow Had to go cook tea

I'm glad that your Dietician is so helpful and someone you feel comfortable with, most of the time. I still have trouble talking to my psych at times, and I feel very comfortable with her. I often write down/email her things I can't speak. I think it is totally understandable that at times it is really hard to get the words out.

Just having that open space helps.

Waiting times can be very long. If the gp can help in any way to speed things up then perhaps it is for the best. Can your SW go with you?

My day was very emotional!! S finished school today (only has exams to go). So happy yet so sad at the same time. Happy that after 15 years I can say goodbye to school traffic and school fees. Sad because my little boy is not so little anymore. I might have had a few tears 😢

He turns 18 too later this week too. A very big week in our household.