My Mosaic

@Jynx ! They are so cute! Like to itty bitty tiny and sweet! Make the cutest little meows. They are trying to move around more today. So cute! Mumma keeps trying to move them though.

my week has been..,. busy. Draining.

wanted to tell you…. I shared with my CM on Wednesday what I wrote a while back about why speaking words is so hard often. I meet with my SW prior and she helped me prepare… so I went in there feeling confident about what I wanted to say. I read it to her. She seemed to listen and hear and received it. She asked questions.
I was then able to ask whether I was on the wait list for a new psychologist and I wasn’t. I was able to ask why. She explained that I just wasn’t on it and that she thought my ED was a priority and they couldn’t provide that kind of therapy. We talked about it and discussed that while yes ED is a big issue, hopefully addressing some of the other underlying issues it may help. She thought that I’ve always had ED issues, like since a teen. I told her no. I was annoyed that she didn’t know that. But anyways, I’ve been put on the wait list and it’s nowhere near as long as I had anticipated, like 2ish months. Here I was expecting 6-12mths plus wait.

so yeah that felt like a positive outcome. But then I crashed pretty hard after that. Been dealing with a lot of high SH and SI.

had medical complications from my ED eating up a lot of my mental load this week too. Quite bad today and had hoped to speak with my SW today when I seen her but she talked too much. So carrying it alone. Which is feeling scary.

Plus lots of kitty cuteness

how’s your week?

Bit annoying and frustrating @Eve7 met with my SW for a cuppa this morning and had hoped to talk with her about something. But didn’t get the chance. She talked a lot. Then did some craft stuff downstairs.

what about you?

Sorry about your SW taking over the conversation @Bow

I picked the colours for my new kitchen drawers (white) and the stone for the bench top. I’ve had a walk and did some uni work.

@Bow oh hun I am so proud of you!! Advocacy is not easy, and there's so many invisible barriers to overcome. It's really reassuring to know you're back on the waitlist and that it's hopefully not too long of a wait!

The crash doesn't surprise me tbh. Vulnerability hangover, the amount of energy that goes into preparing and being anxious before something like that, bound to leave us pretty depleted.

Sorry to hear about the medical complications, that is so scary. Do you feel like you need to vent a little about it? If so feel free, but I do also wanna check in with you around your SI/SH urges, how are you going with managing them? I imagine the kitties help haha

Week has been ok, some ups and some downs. Had my own lil fur babies to keep me company hehe - here's us just vibin 😊

I just really hope that it actually makes a difference @Jynx like that now that she knows all the why’s… that she will allow me to write stuff down and share. That it’s not just a waste of time.
She actually mentioned adhd for me because of one of the paragraphs I read to her. I’m already on those meds too though.

Don’t think I really expected the vulnerable hangover…

I’d love to be able to vent. To even just tell someone so it’s not so lonely. Cause at the moment it’s very lonely. Scary and lonely. But it will be removed if I say it here. It then feeds into my SI and leads to SH. Struggling to manage it to be honest. (Do you think I could possible email you, tell you and then I can work around talking about it here without saying what exactly?)

kitties do help. I just went down and gave mumma her dinner. Oh. We got to name them. Usually we don’t. They are named when they have their vet checks. But I picked them up straight away and they were in the process of changing systems. So they said we could pick names. So we have mumma Taylor and babies Red, Folklore, Evermore and Midnight.

That looks like a very chill place to chill.

@Bow here's hoping hun 🤞

I can really hear how heavy this feeling is for you. It sucks you weren't able to bring it up today - could you send like an email or something to your SW?

We can see that it may feel easier to email, but our team inbox is reserved for safety check-ins and guideline breaches. We are currently going through significant changes at SANE and processes have been tightened as part of having an expanding workforce. I know it can be hard when things shift and change like this, but it doesn't mean we aren't still here to support you in expressing yourself.

I know you're worried about your post being not recovery-focused, but just remember that you are allowed to talk about your SI here, just so long as you can clarify current safety, and let the community know what you're needing - which in this case sounds like a vent. So 'I am just needing to vent some feelings, it's about my SI but I am currently safe and will call a crisis line if things get worse' for example. You're allowed to disclose a medical condition if it helps to tell your story, even if it's related to ED. It's ED behaviours, not impacts, that aren't allowed.

I'll leave it to you to decide what's going to be the least stressful hun.

Aww cutie lil names!! Very witchy sounding... mayhap these kitties will become familiars!! Hehehe cute 😊💜

Are they able to walk yet? Haha watch out they'll start climbing up your trouser legs soon!

Yeah @ArraDreaming . True that. Because we have changes to structures as we expand. Then with growth, there are reviews into the programs and processes we have, which then leads into further changes.

Just so you know, NO, the forums are not going anywhere 🙂