Hi @Ru-bee
just got home from my psychologist appointment and have made myself comfy on the couch. My cat has already come and curled up on my lap too.
my SW called this morning but I didn’t feel able to talk. I sent her a photo of one of my communication cards that said I had something I needed to say. She normally says that she will meet me at health but she didn’t so assumed she wasn’t available. She called and texted while I was typing up stuff.
I texted her everything that has been in my head this past week. High SI, contemplating, plans, hard to distract and then the confronting feeling of inevitability. And then I hit send. Haven’t heard anything yet.
Psychology appointment. It was ok? Told her a bit of what’s been happening while she was away. She mentioned talking about what the plan is for when she goes on mat leave and I said yes I want to know, but she asked if there was anything that needed prioritizing first and I told her yeah… I really ain’t been ok this last week. I told her most of what I sent to my SW. she asked if I had a timeframe, and I said well nothing locked in, but it’s something I constantly find myself thinking about. And then she asked if I had been hoarding things. I said no. And it was pretty much left at that. 😩
was I expecting more? Probably? What was I expecting? I don’t know? More care? More concern?