My Mosaic

Hey @Bow ,

I totally agree about the fostering! Good on you! And for letting her know that you are NOT going adopt them 🙂

As for the private space thing, we've run into a lot of logistics which means we cannot have them. There are quite a few reasons why we can't. But I totally agree what you are saying that it would be nice to journal something.

I know members who have a blog outside the forums, but I guess that's different because there's no one to interact with.

But if anything comes up, I've got you and a few others in mind. As for the chat, I know they were trialling the new chat function. I'm going to chase that up again and I'll get back to you about that as soon as i have more info.

Mum keeps asking me though @tyme cause I do have a favorite! But I keep reassuring her that I will not be adopting any.

that’s a shame the private spaces thing didn’t work out. I’m sure there are lots of logistics but it’s good that you have it a try.

id greatly appreciate an update on where chat is at. I found sane chat so helpful and so very different to the other 2 main chat providers.

Good morning @Bow

Just catching up

I think you are very strong to get through the looking after kittens without keeping one!! So much temptation there.

Hoping today goes ok for you hon

Sending lots of 💗💗

@Snowiemy dear friend I’m gonna miss you! But you’ll have the most amazing time! If you get to Disneyland go on the tea cups for me!

Awww thanks @Bow I'm going to miss you too and our chats.

I have put my phone on international roaming so at least I can still contact the kids/mum and they can contact us in case something goes wrong. Hopefully everything goes ok, but mum losing her license on the day we fly out has made it more difficult.

If I go to Disneyland the first person I am going to think of is you hon. Will defiantly ride the tea cups!! Oh and buy a snow globe.

I had another dozzy of an appointments day today. Really didn’t wanna go to my psych appointment. I was terrified about having to talk about thing that I didn’t wanna talk about. Things that were hard to talk about.
fark why do I even write this BS?? No one cares. We talked about stuff. I disappeared dissociated. And it keeps happening now at home. I’m terrified I am loosing control.

We care @Bow!! Aw hun sounds like a rough morning. Here with you 💜

@Jynx She’s feeling scary this arvo

Oh no @Bow!! Do you need the cavalry to come to the rescue? Teehee I wonder what they'd look like. A whole army of kittens maybe? That would definitely save me!!

Happy to sit with ya hun. Anything else I could do to support you at the moment?

I had a kitten snoozing on my chest @Jynx he was even purring. But his back with his sisters now.

just feeling so very disconnected. My psych remembered today after I said something simple. We talked about it kinda or more just what lead up to it. You know the whole being upset and disregulated and doing what I thought was the right thing for me in that moment. But I was so stupid going out there then. Who wanders a park at midnight in an area you don’t know. Sketchy neighborhood anyways. Stupid bow. Stupid girl. And now you just question everything cause you made the wrong bloody decision then. And look what happened as a result of your stupidity little bow. You paid the consequences of that horrible monstera actions and it turned your little life upside down and inside out and blahhhhh you just made an absolute mess of everything. And now look. Disaster. Absolute disaster. Can’t do anything right can you. Stupid. Idiot.
you know we talked about stuff but about the stuff that happened afterwards too. How I found out. What I felt. The utter confusion. Fear. Loneliness. The absolute agony. The conflict within. Urgh

i kept disappearing and it was so hard to come back and stay. My psych called it a day when I started rocking backwards and forwards. I’d had enough. She didn’t reply a quick safety check in but I wasn’t really there. Couldn’t feel my body properly let alone recognise where I’m at.

I was brave and reached out to my SW. sent her a text. Think I just wanted to hear a caring friendly voice. But she didn’t reply. My old SW would always reply. And now my SW isn’t on tomorrow. Back Sunday.

not in an ok place

sry